


Beloved Enemy

by Kalkasar (Mordhena)



Series: Chakotay/Paris Fiction Series [2]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Betrayal, Cheating Tom Paris, Episode: s04e08 Year of Hell, Hostage Situation, Hurt/Comfort, Inspired by Canon, Inspired by Music, M/M, Reconciliation, Sleeping with the enemy, Stockholm Syndrome, all the feels, s04e09 Year of Hell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-11
Packaged: 2019-10-20 04:18:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 22
Words: 39,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17615327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mordhena/pseuds/Kalkasar
Summary: This story grew out of an inkling of an idea that came to me while I was watching "Year Of Hell Pt II" I hope that you will enjoy it. I think the idea has a lot of merit and was more than broadly hinted at by a conversation between Tom and Chakotay on board the Krenim ship.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Haggitha](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Haggitha).



**Day 133 It Begins.**

He slumped in the darkness of his cell, huddled into a corner, eyes closed and knees drawn up to his chest, trying as best he could to sleep. His uniform, once kept fastidiously pristine,  was now rumpled and begrimed by his two months of captivity. Two months in which he had not seen Tom nor been afforded the opportunity to bathe or change his clothing. He was fed regularly, good food, and on the whole he had to admit he was treated well, except for the constant probing and analyzing. The indignity of being stripped, poked, prodded and examined.

He bore it all with an air of affronted dignity, rarely speaking to his captors unless he was addressed directly, suffering through the examinations. The sooner to be returned to his cell. The sooner to be permitted to slump, despairing to the corner, agonizing over Tom, his captain his crew-mates...where were they? What was happening? How much longer before they would be allowed to go? The light stabbed at his eyes, causing him to gasp with pain, throwing up a hand to shield his vision as the door swished open and a shadow approached. _Not again. Spirits, please, not again..._  He was hauled to his feet and forced to walk out of the cell.

* * *

 In the darkness, he paced, fuming at the thought of being cooped up here. They had to know how it maddened him, hadn't he proven it every time they dragged him, screaming and fighting back to this hated room. He was haggard, he knew. The constant worry and fighting taking its toll on him physically and mentally. But he would die rather than submit.

_Chakotay.....god...Chakotay, where are you? What is happening to you? Why hasn't anyone from Voyager come..why are we still here? How long has it been? a month? Two? I can't remember. Chakotay...I need you. god...please don't be dead!_

The door opened with a clatter and a bright shaft of light pierced the darkness. Tom turned, glaring at the person who approached him. Backlit they were impossible to identify. Something else Tom hated. He hated everything about this, but never being able to see their faces drove him crazy.

"Excercise time again?" he asked, his voice sarcastic. "I hope whoever commands you appreciates how fit I keep his crew."

There was no response, except for a rough hand gripping his arm and propelling him forward, out of the cell and along the hallway he must have walked or been dragged along, a hundred times in the past weeks.

* * *

Chakotay was surprised. The room they had brought him to was very different to what he'd come to expect. He stood for several minutes after his 'escort' left, gazing around at the sumptuous quarters. The room was furnished with plush sofas, a bed and draperies in soft pink and beige, a direct contrast to the hard blues and greens of the rest of the ship. He moved around the room, touching the furnishings. Examining them, running his fingers over the softness and enjoying the sensation. It was two months since he had felt the caress of silk or velvet, trodden on well padded carpets or slept on a bed with soft mattress and linen. He touched, stroked, feasted his senses and wondered if this was a dream, or a cruel trick. Moving from the main room, he let out a gasp of delight to find a bath, filled with steaming water awaiting him. A sponge, soap and towels lay nearby, along with the requirements for shaving and a set of the dun brown clothing he'd seen the Krenim wear. He wasted no time. Stripping out of his sweat soaked and stinking uniform, he moved to the side of the sunken tub and stepped in, lowering his frame into the delicious water with a groan of pleasure. 

* * *

 Surprise was not the word. In fact, Tom was downright suspicious. This was such a departure from the norm, that he immediately began to wonder if this was the day they had decided to do away with his fighting spirit once and for all. He soaked in the bath, chewing his lower lip and pondering the options, which were depressingly few.

"I can't even think of getting away from here without knowing where Chakotay is...and taking him with me. And if he is dead...there isn't much point in trying to get off this damned crate." He spoke aloud as he rubbed soap to a lather on his chest.

"Your crew-mate is alive."

Tom spun around--or tried to--as far as he was able to in the bath tub, to find a young Krenim officer watching him.

He narrowed his eyes. "Didn't anyone teach you to knock before you barge in on someone in the bath?"

The young man merely stood there, silent, unapologetic. His dark eyes traveled over Tom's form, studying him closely. He was perhaps, not as tall as Tom, his hair dark and slightly curled, eyes a deep dark brown, almost black and his face marked by the characteristic dark spots at each temple and the small, bony protrusion that stopped short of becoming horns. Tom supposed this man was handsome by Krenim standards.

"I haven't seen you before....where are the usual guards?"

"My name is Obrist." The Krenim officer said. His eyes never left Tom's naked chest. "I was sent to bring you to Annorax."

"Paris. Lieutenant First Grade," Tom said tersely. "But I guess you already know that." He stood up and reached for a towel, draping it around his hips as he stepped out of the sunken bathtub. "And who is Annorax?"

"He is the commander of this vessel. He wants to see you and your crew-mate. He has a proposal."

Tom eyed Obrist with mild interest, the man seemed inclined to talk. Perhaps that would be useful.


	2. Chapter 2

Tom was mildly surprised and somewhat gratified to find that Obrist merely guided him when they left the quarters he had used to freshen up in. No rough hands on his arms, no guards. He was permitted to walk freely, merely shown by use of gesture or words which way he ought to go.   
  
As they walked, he took an opportunity to look around, trying to get the lay of the ship. Now that he knew Chakotay was alive, his spirits had risen to greater heights, his fight was returning seven-fold and he kept alert for the slightest chance to escape.   
  
He was directed to turn down a hallway, and did so, walking towards what he assumed must be the bridge of the weapon ship.   
  
Obrist hurried him across the bridge, not allowing him much time to look at the consoles or the control panels perhaps Tom's flying prowess had preceded him even here. He was quickly guided to a door on the far side of the bridge and almost cried out with relief when it opened and he saw Chakotay's broad back and shoulders; beyond him, a table laden with all manner of food, behind which sat an elder Krenim who was engaged in conversation with Tom's Lover.   
  
"What do you want from us?" Tom was in time to hear Chakotay ask.   
  
"At the moment, information." The Krenim replied as Tom stepped through the door.   
  
"Anything for such a charming host." Tom turned his gaze to Chakotay, looking him over for any sign of injury, holding back the joy and relief that bubbled in him to ask simply. "You alright?"   
  
Chakotay nodded, not speaking but his dark eyes met Tom's in a look of such naked relief that Tom had to look away to retain his composure. He turned his attention to the Krenim, presumably Annorax, who was speaking quietly.   
  
"The galley has prepared a selection of unique delicacies. You won't find them anywhere else in the galaxy. Please..." Annorax waved expansively to two empty chairs at the table. "Join me."   
  
With a quick glance at each other Tom and Chakotay nodded then moved to the table.   
  
Annorax stood and lifted a wine carafe out of it's stand on the table. "Malcarthian Spirits," he said commencing to pour them a glass each. "A very rare vintage. The only bottle known to exist." He busied himself a few moments with the wine. Then. "Your....captain said that, your vessel is trying to reach home. I hadn't realized how far your home is. You're an anomalous component. Alone, disconnected, impossible to predict." He chuckled almost indulgently. "You have no idea how much you have complicated my mission."   
  
"Glad to hear it." Tom crossed his arms over his chest and sat back, eyeing Annorax with thinly veiled contempt.   
  
Annorax cast Tom a swift glance then continued as though Tom didn't exist, turning his full attention to Chakotay. "When I first encountered your vessel, it was badly damaged, barely functioning. He leaned forward and locked his gaze with Chakotay's. "What if I told you, that in the blink of an eye, I could restore Voyager to it's former condition? That you and I would never have met, That you might even find yourselves closer to the Alpha Quadrant?"   
  
Chakotay stared at Annorax in silence for a moment, his dark eyes studying the Krenim.   
  
Tom glanced at Chakotay, noting the almost imperceptible flash of hope, an expression that no-one else would have picked up, but Tom did. Tom knew, Tom saw the struggle with temptation that his lover fought for a brief moment before he composed his features and replied.   
  
"By using the weapon on board this ship to change history?"   
  
"Yes." Annorax sat back, waving a hand in an expansive gesture. "I can control the destiny of a single molecule. Or an entire civilization. How's the wine?"   
  
The question took Chakotay a little by surprise, he fumbled a moment, looking down at the glass in his hand. "Excellent."   
  
"This bottle,"Annorax reached a hand to touch the glass container. "Is the only remaining component of the once powerful Malcarth race. Everything else about them, cities, culture, the very species itself, never existed." His voice softened a little with something close to regret. "Because of me."   
  
Tom narrowed his eyes, listening to Annorax and picked up a fork, picking at the food on the platter set before him. Something about the words of the Krenim made him feel oddly uneasy, but he listened because there was not much choice. The food tasted good and he continued to eat in silence.   
  
"Every dish you see here comes from a civilization that....has been erased from time. " Annorax turned his eyes to Tom. "Mr Paris, you're devouring the last remnants of the Alseran empire."   
  
Tom very nearly gagged. The food in his mouth seemed to turn to ash. He stared down at the plate in chagrin. He couldn't have been more mortified if told he was devouring human flesh. Laying down the fork, he leaned back against the seat and forced himself to swallow.   
  
"I have collected artifacts from, hundreds of worlds. This vessel is more than a weapon. It's a museum of lost histories. You two gentlemen almost became artifacts yourselves. But, I have decided to spare your ship.   
  
"Why?" Tom's voice was a challenge as he recovered himself and once again crossed his arms over his chest.   
  
Chakotay shot Tom a quelling glance. This was a chance of a lifetime. He could admit, the idea of so many civilizations having been obliterated by this temporal weapon was abhorrent, and yet....and yet, here was a chance to get Voyager repaired, to get out of this situation, perhaps, even to cut their journey home short. He returned his attention to Annorax and listened intently.   
  
"Call it an act of compassion," Annorax said. "You're trying to reach home. In a way, so am I. We can work together to achieve both our goals."   
  
Tom sighed. Annorax had to be crazy if he thought that Chakotay would seriously even consider such a monstrous notion. He glanced at Chakotay, waiting for the Commander to shoot Annorax's idea down in flames and was astounded by the words Chakotay said.   
  
"What do you propose?" The Commander waited with rapt attention for Annorax's response.   
  
"In order to make the calculations necessary to restore Voyager, I need to know, about some of your experiences in this quadrant. What species you have interacted with, how other components were affected by your presence..."   
  
"You can't find her can you?" Tom was triumphant in his sudden realization. "I think Captain Janeway has been eluding you these past two months." he ignored the glance Chakotay darted at him. "Otherwise you would have destroyed Voyager by now."   
  
Annorax bridled with indignation, the fact that Tom had hit the nail right on the head not hidden from either of them. He went on the attack. "I am offering you a way out of this situation! You accept my offer, or when I do find Voyager, I will destroy it."   
  
"And how many civilizations will you have to erase to send us merrily on our way?" Tom stood up, disgust evident in his every movement. "No thanks! We don't want that kind of blood on our hands!"   
  
"Tom, hold on!" Chakotay's voice was sharp with a tone of command that Tom dared not disobey. He turned, seeing Chakotay's hand raised to stall him and the Commander's face in profile, the expression enough to warn him that Chakotay would not acept any other response. He ground his teeth and stood quietly behind Chakotay's chair, glaring at Annorax with undisguised contempt.   
  
Chakotay relaxed a little and turned to Annorax, his deep voice soft as he spoke. "You said you could control the destiny of a single molecule. If you made a precise enough calculation, could you restore Voyager without harming anyone?"   
  
Tom relaxed his stance a little, beginning to see where Chakotay was going with this. He looked at Annorax, waiting for his response.   
  
"It is possible." Annorax spoke slowly, considering his words carefully. "But it is extremely difficult. That's why I need your co-operation."   
  
Tom snorted, this guy was a madman. He had to be if he expected Chakotay to agree to such a flimsy bargain. Annorax held the balance of power here, and as far as Tom was concerned the man was a genocidal maniac who couldn't be trusted. He glared at Annorax then voiced his frustration, noting Chakotay's thoughtful expression.   
  
"I'd rather spend a year in solitary confinement than listen to anymore of this!" He turned towards the doors.   
  
"Tom! Have a seat!" Chakotay's voice held an edge of iron that Tom couldn't miss, but he wasn't letting go that easy.   
  
"Chakotay! We can't trust him!"   
  
"You're correct." Annorax's voice was maddeningly calm. "Given the circumstances, you've no reason to trust me. But trust isn't necessary. We _need_  each other." He reached out and touched a button on the table in front of him. The doors slid open and Obrist entered.   
  
"Obrist, show our guest here to his new quarters." He turned his cold eyes to Tom. "I'll do everything in my power to make you comfortable here, Mr Paris. All I ask in return is that you keep an open mind."   
  
Tom gave him a withering stare and shot a digusted glance at Chakotay before he turned, brushing past Obrist on his way out of the room.   
  
 _I can't believe Chakotay is actually going to go along with that creep!_  He stormed across the bridge of the Krenim ship, forgetting in his haste to take notice of his surroundings and was brought up short by a soft touch on his shoulder.   
  
"Paris, you will get lost going that way." Obrist said. "Your quarters are along this hallway here." He indicated the way with a gesture. "Please..."   
  
Paris nodded, still fuming and walked along the hallway indicated, Obrist right on his heels, as he muttered to himself. "I am trapped in a world gone mad...and the only one who sees it is me!"   
  
"No...you're not the only one." Obrist's words were insistent. "Do you think the crew of this ship actually _wants_ any of this?"   
  
Tom stopped, turning to face Obrist and fixing him with a cold blue gaze. "Then why do you allow it to go on? Why don't you stop it?"   
  
Obrist frowned. "Why does anyone do the things they do? Why do you continue to fly your vessel? Why does your crew continue their quest to get home? Is it because your captain orders it, or does something else drive you on? Is it the thought that if you didn't you will never see everyone you love again?"   
  
Tom studied the Krenim's face for a moment, reading unspoken pain there. He glanced back towards the room they had come from. "Of course it does...but we don't destroy everything in our path to get there...that's...." He sighed again and turned away from Obrist, walking on.   
  
"You do not understand, Paris. You have not been here for two hundred years, you don't know what is in the hearts and minds of this crew. You will condemn us all out of hand, no trial, no pause to listen to our side of things. Because of the things we've been forced to do....you just...brand us, label us...box us away and think that makes it all right. You're wrong, Paris. Very wrong, and you are making a big mistake if you continue in that bias!"   
  
Tom shrugged the words off, unwilling to admit they made sense. "Where I come from, we have a saying, Obrist. 'Nothing justifies genocide.' Hell! you people have taken Genocide to a whole new level!"   
  
They had reached the door of Tom's quarters and Obrist stopped to open the door for him. "Paris, please don't condemn us for what we were forced to do. At least, not without asking yourself how you would act in similar circumstances...what if this was the - _only_ \- way Voyager had to get home? What if this was the _only_ way you'd ever see your friends or family again?" His dark eyes rested on Tom's face for a moment before he stood aside to let Paris into the room. "I don't agree with everything Annorax says, or does, but in one thing he is right. You need to have an open mind." He pressed a button to close the doors, leaving Tom alone. 


	3. Chapter 3

After the door closed, Tom stood, staring at it for several moments. Anger still boiled in him. Anger at Annorax and his flagrant disregard for life, his nonchalant way of saying that he'd wiped out hundreds of civilizations in one breath and in the next, acting the attentive host and asking how they liked the wine.   
  
Anger at Chakotay for even being willing to listen to the proposal Annorax had to get Voyager repaired and send her on her way home.   
  
Tom turned away from the doors and made his way to a sofa, flinging himself down on it and drawing his knees up to his chest.   
  
 _Have an open mind....for what? So it'll be easier to condone the mass murder of...countless millions of people? Please!_  He closed his eyes and rested his chin on his knees, verging on tears as he thought about Chakotay.   
  
 _Two damned months without seeing him...two months of longing, wanting, worry and what do I get? He must've gone insane....the isolation has warped his mind. He can't seriously be considering this proposal?_  
  
  


* * *

  
  
Chakotay stormed along the hallway that led to the quarters he and Tom had been assigned, his 'escort' all but left behind in his wake. Halfway along the hall, he stopped and turned, fixing obsidian eyes darkened by rage on the man behind him.   
  
"Tell me where Lieutenant Paris is quartered!"   
  
The Krenim officer stopped and took a backwards step under the force of Chakotay's fury. "Of course, Commander." He indicated a door and commenced to follow once more as Chakotay strode towards it.   
  
"Open it!" Chakotay stood, fuming as the Krenim punched in a code. Then as soon as the doors opened far enough to admit him, he burst into the room, descending on Paris who sat on a sofa looking the picture of living misery.   
  
"Just what the hell was the meaning of that little display back there, Paris?" His dark eyes nailed Tom to his seat. "Have you completely lost sight of our mission?" He was yelling and he hated it. If there was one thing Chakotay was ever at pains to do, it was to maintain his cool, calm exterior. He drew a deep breath and let it out slowly, glaring at Paris in silence.   
  
Tom looked up with a sardonic smile. "Our mission, Commander? Exactly what _is_  our mission? I thought, once we were reunited we'd be doing our best to escape. That's what a good Star Fleet officer would do..." He paused putting all his hurt and frustration into the next words "Oh...but wait, I forgot...you're just a tamed Maquis, not a _real_ Star Fleet officer."   
  
Chakotay stared at Tom for a moment in silence. Twice, he opened his mouth to speak. Twice he closed it again. He watched the young pilot's face, reading the pain that hid behind the sardonic smile, sensing the hurt that edged the words. His shoulders slumped, he let his breath go in a sigh and moved to a chair opposite his lover, intense, dark eyes full of chagrin as he continued to stare at Tom.   
  
"I'm sorry. This is not what was meant to happen." He bowed his head for a moment then met Tom's eyes. "Of all the ways I imagined our reunion....this was not it."   
  
Tom shrugged, looking away. "It's not exactly what I had in mind." He swallowed hard, avoiding Chakotay's eyes.   
  
The silence between them stretched out for several seconds. Chakotay watched Tom. Eventually, it was he, as always, who broke the tension.   
  
"C'mere, Wings..." His voice was soft, coaxing.   
  
Tom turned to him, blue eyes soft with hurt and traces of anger. "Why are you doing it, Cha? Why are you listening to him?"   
  
Chakotay shook his head. "Not now, sweetheart. We'll talk about it later." Seeing that Tom had not moved, he stood up and moved to the sofa, easing himself down next to Tom and reaching out to brush his fingertips against Tom's cheek. "I've missed you so much."   
  
Tom closed his eyes, turning his head a little to press against Chakotay's hand. "I've missed you too," he sighed, enjoying the gentle caress.   
  
Reaching for Him, Chakotay pulled Tom into his arms, staring down at the beautiful, beloved face for a moment then bending down to kiss, brushing his lips over Tom's as lightly as butterfly wings.   
  
Tom moaned, a sound born of weeks of longing and loneliness. He parted his lips a little and leaned in closer to Chakotay, kissing him back, inviting his tongue to explore his mouth, letting his arms slip around the Commander's waist, his anger of moments before forgotten for the time being. He melted against his lover, giving himself up to the pleasure only Chakotay knew how to evoke in him.   
  
Chakotay answered Tom's moan with a passionate growl and drew him closer, crushing him in a strong embrace as his tongue delved between sweetly parted lips, exploring and tasting, reacquainting itself with the sweet recesses of Tom's mouth, tracing over teeth and dancing against the eager tongue that came to meet it.   
  
He sucked on Tom's tongue, easing him backwards on the sofa, skillful hands making short work of getting the brown jacket Tom wore open, fingers trailing over bare flesh and delighting in the shivers he felt running through Tom's body in response.   
  
Tom arched his back, shuddering as Chakotay's fingers grazed his ribs. Stretching himself out on the sofa, he moved so that Chakotay's body fell naturally into place above him. Tom's legs parted slightly with Chakotay's legs between them. He pulled his mouth away from the older man's and whispered:   
  
"I want you...please!"   
  
Chakotay stared into those inviting blue eyes for a moment. Then he swooped, dipping his head and kissing Tom's throat, his lips exploring the beating pulse, teeth grazing across the vein that throbbed just below the surface, feeling the pulse beat quicken with want as Tom groaned deep in his throat and moved under him, lifting his hips to press against his lover's body. Chakotay felt the heat of Tom's desire, and his hardness. He chuckled, a low rumble in the back of his throat, pushing against Tom with his own powerful hips, pinning him under his body and letting Tom feel how his desire was answered.   
  
Tom whimpered, reaching to slip his hands under the soft brown fabric of Chakotay's jacket, caressing the silken, tanned skin beneath. "Please, Chakotay....please." His whispers became more desperate with each passing moment.   
  
"Sweet, impatient Tom...." Chakotay ran his tongue up and down the length of Tom's neck then allowed his lips to nestle in the hollow at the base of his throat. "All in good time," he murmured, his voice a vibrating rumble against Tom's neck.   
  
Moaning in desire edged with frustration, Tom allowed his hands to roam lower, slipping between their bodies as Chakotay lifted his weight a little. Tom found and tugged at the drawstring that fastened the loose fitting slacks Chakotay wore. Loosening it, his hand found a way inside, long, slim fingers closing around Chakotay's erection.   
  
With a sharp hiss, Chakotay drew in his breath, sinking his teeth into Tom's shoulder, hard enough to sting, but not to draw blood. He shivered almost uncontrollably as Tom began to stroke his arousal, building the fires within him to fever pitch.   
  
"Tom!" Chakotay groaned, his entire body tensing with ecstasy.   
  
"Now who's the impatient one, hmmm?" Tom's voice was liquid silk, seductive and soft. "Come for me, big man...come on..."   
  
"No...." Chakotay gasped, pulling away from Tom and moving off the sofa. "Not so fast, Wings!" He reached for Tom's hand, pulling the pilot to his feet and towing him into the bedroom.   
  
"What?" Tom's voice took on a teasing note. "Can't handle the heat, Commander?"   
  
"I can handle it...the question is...can you?" Chakotay's voice was a husky rasp of desire as he reached for the control to close the door, quickly figuring out how to lock it before he turned and shoved Tom playfully, towards the bed. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Day 135**  
  
Obrist sat in his personal quarters aboard the Krenim weapon ship, brooding over the events of the day. Brooding was something that had become almost second nature to him. After all, two hundred years of practice had to make one an expert in anything. He sighed, remembering the attitude of the human, Lieutenant Paris. A long time ago, the same attitude had been his.   
  
 _But I have become jaded. So long....so many years so many lost...you have to harden yourself to it or -- go insane._  With that last thought, an image of Annorax flitted through his mind.   
  
Closing his eyes, Obrist sipped from the cup in his hands, something hot and almost tasteless. Once it had contained flavor, as had life; now the beverage was as tasteless as his own hopeless existence. And in Obrist's mind, his existence _was_ hopeless.   
  
Annorax had referred in conversation with him to these humans as being disconnected. Obrist couldn't help but think it was they, the Krenim who were really disconnected. Outside of time, out of place. Gone from their homes for two hundred weary years.

Obrist had faced the reality long ago.  There was no-one left to go back to. He stood up, pushing back the tears that threatened to fall. Weeping served no purpose. Action was what was needed. He set his cup down on a metal table and turned towards the doors. He would speak to Annorax again. Perhaps this time, the commander would listen to reason.   
  
As he approached the door, it slid open. Obrist stepped through and was brought up short as he almost collided with Tom Paris.   
  
"Paris!" He would never have expected to meet the hot tempered, red-haired man right outside his own chamber.   
  
Tom smiled and inclined his head slightly. "Obrist." He spoke softly, glancing over his shoulder. "Can we talk?"   
  
"Of course." Frowning, wondering what Paris wanted, Obrist stood aside and waved him inside. "Come in, please." He stepped into the room behind Paris and stood just inside the door, watching the human warily.   
  
Tom stepped past the Krenim officer, glancing around at the sparsley decorated room. This was something Tom had noticed throughout the entire ship. The total lack of personality. Everywhere, except in Annorax's chambers, everything was bare, functional, almost clinical. Tom wondered at the lack of personal items, photographs, or mementos.  
  
 _Then again...before Chakotay, I wasn't exactly surrounded by keepsakes myself_. _It was only since we reconciled that I have started to make Voyager my 'home_ '   
  
He turned, smiling at Obrist. "Thanks. I appreciate your time."   
  
"Why are you here, Paris?"   
  
Obrist closed the door and walked over to the table, sitting down and idly toying with a board set in the center of it. There were hexagonal chips made of a glass-like material set on the board and Tom surmised it must be some kind of game.   
  
"I've been thinking about what you said." Tom took a seat adjacent to the other man and looked into his face. "If you're so unhappy with the way things are....maybe we can work out some way to stop it."   
  
Obrist picked up a game chip, turning it over in his fingers then set it down again. "It's not as if I haven't tried — I can't count the times I have confronted Annorax." He frowned. "I felt so sure, early in our mission that what he was doing was right. That it was the only way." He looked into Tom's eyes. "Annorax was our hero! We gladly followed him into battle, to destroy our enemy and restore the Krenim to power. When it worked, we were elated. We thought we would return as heroes, lauded and celebrated by our people." His lips curved in a small smile. "We couldn't wait to return home." There was a long pause. "Home. That's all we wanted. But before we realized — home was lost to us — forever."   
  
Tom looked down at the table, studying the game in the center of it. The heartache in Obrist's tone was evident and Tom didn't know what to say. 'I'm sorry' seemed too trite somehow. He stayed silent, glancing up after a few moments to find those searching dark eyes resting on him. "What is it?" He asked.   
  
"You are an interesting person, Tom Paris. So hard and cold on the outside, yet I sense there is something very different within. You remind me of myself. Or at least, how I used to be."   
  
Tom smirked, taking refuge in his first line of defense, sarcasm. "Oh sure...I'm just as soft and sweet as marshmellow. Don't let it fool you. Where I come from, there are plenty of people who would tell you I'm not the kind of person you want to associate with."   
  
Obrist merely smiled. "Then again, where we are now, many would say the same thing about me, Paris. What does it matter? What does any of it matter?"   
  
Tom studied Obrist for a long moment, then sighed and picked up a gaming piece.   
  
"Show me how to play?"   
  
After all, he might as well use any opportunity that presented itself. This was all part of the greater scheme to get himself and Chakotay off this hell-spawned ship.   
  
  


* * *

  
  
Chakotay walked along the hallway to Tom's quarters deep in thought. He'd spent the morning deep in conversation with Annorax, discussing temporal dynamics. The Krenim commander was brilliant; his grasp of temporal physics phenomenal. Chakotay found the fascination he'd initially felt for the elder Krenim gradually turning to admiration and deep respect.   
  
Though there was much in the man's methods that were misguided, even, perhaps abhorrent, Chakotay couldn't help but recognize the scientific value of the man's research.   
  
Coming to Tom's door, he entered the code to open it and walked into the room.   
  
"Tom?"   
  
He was greeted by silence. The room was empty. Chakotay frowned and made his way into the bedroom.   
  
"Tom!" He scanned the room quickly, his frown deepening. Chakotay turned, standing in the doorway, frowning deeply, wondering where Tom could have gone on this unfamiliar ship. He was about to go looking for him when Tom walked into the room from the hallway.   
  
"Chakotay..." Tom stopped in his tracks. "I didn't expect to find you here." He smiled, a little stiffly and walked over to his lover.   
  
"And where else would you expect to find me?" Chakotay's tone was playful and he placed his hands on Tom's hips, looking into blue eyes. "I thought we might have lunch together, if you have nothing else to do?"   
  
Tom shrugged and smiled up at Chakotay. "Sure. I'd love to."   
  
Chakotay frowned; something in Tom's attitude struck him as odd. "Is something wrong, Tom?"  
  
"No." Tom gave Chakotay a brief hug and moved away, looking out of a view port. "Why should anything would be wrong?"   
  
"I don't know. You seem — not quite yourself."   
  
"I just wasn't expecting you to be here. After all, you've spent almost every spare moment with Annorax the past day or two. I figured you'd be with him."   
  
"I see." Chakotay moved to stand behind Tom, looking over his shoulder at the stars. He pulled Tom against him and rested his chin on the pilot's shoulder, slipping his arms around the man's waist. "I've been neglecting you. I'm sorry."   
  
Tom leaned back against Chakotay's broad, powerful chest, resting his head on the Commander's shoulder and closing his eyes. He wrestled with feelings of guilt and struggled to push them aside.   
  
 _It's not as though anything happened, we played Cloona, that's all...nothing wrong with a game, is there?_ He turned in his lover's arms and buried his face against Chakotay's neck.   
  
 _That's a lie, and you know it_ , _Tom_ , his conscience argued. _You know very well, that you were there for more than Cloona, and will go back for more than Cloona._  
  
Tom sighed, eyes closed as Chakotay stroked his hair and ran a hand down his back, cupping the cheek of Tom's butt in that one strong hand and pulling his hips close against him.

He kissed Chakotay's throat and heard the small gasp of pleasure. _I'm doing it for him...for us,_ he told his bothersome conscience. _To get us both out of this mess._


	5. Chapter 5

**DAY 142**    
  
Tom woke slowly, his eyes at first refusing to focus on his surroundings. After blinking hard several times, he made out the patterned walls and muted colors of the room. He stirred, becoming instantly aware of two things. He was aching to pee, and there was a heavy arm draped across his waist pinning him down.   
  
Craning his neck, he peered over his shoulder and smiled at the sight that met his eyes.   
  
Chakotay's face in repose was soft, almost vulnerable. The firm, sensuous lips were slightly parted, his breath whispering softly between them and the edges of his perfect teeth visible. Thick, dark lashes brushed against the tanned cheeks and the lines of stress and strain were erased from his wide, tattooed forehead.   
  
Tom wriggled, trying to turn over and managed to roll onto his back before the dark, sleepy eyes of his lover opened and focused slowly on his face.   
  
"Tom." Chakotay smiled softly and his arm tightened around Tom's body.   
  
"Hey!" Tom squirmed and tried to break loose. "Quit that! I need the bathroom and you're about to put too much pressure where I don't need it!"   
  
Chakotay laughed softly, rolling over, coming to rest on top of his lover, smiling down into mildly pained blue eyes.   
  
"You didn't say please," he teased, lowering his head to nip at the tip of Tom's nose.   
  
"Chakotay! Please!" Tom squirmed, smiling a little at the big Native American and struggling to get loose.   
  
"Oh...please now, is it?" Chakotay answered with a rumbling chuckle. "But, I am curious." Chakotay tipped his head on one side. "Are you saying 'Please let me up' or 'Please ...' ?" Tom cut off his next words.   
  
"No, Please! Chakotay, please let me up! I really need the bathroom." He swatted the Commander on his naked shoulder and squirmed determinedly.   
  
"Ow! All right, all right." Chakotay laughed and rolled off Tom to lie on his back, staring up at the ceiling. "No need to resort to physical violence!" His dark eyes raked over Tom's body as the younger man got up and moved towards the bathroom. But hurry back. I'm not letting you escape that easily."   
  
Tom padded on bare feet into the bathroom and spent a few minutes there, taking care of his physical needs. He washed his hands and splashed water on his face. Reaching for a towel, he looked at his reflection in the mirror.   
  
 _How can you face yourself? How can you face him, sleep with him, when you know what you're planning to do?_ It was his troublesome conscience back to haunt him with rights and wrongs.   
  
Tom sighed, scrubbing at his face with the towel and with it, trying to scrub away the guilty thoughts. Laying the towel down, he turned away from the mirror and went back into the bedroom.   
  
"What took you so long?" Chakotay's voice teased him. "Get back here — I'm lonely."   
  
Forcing a grin to his lips that didn't quite reach his eyes, Tom moved to the bed and laid himself down. He turned on his side, putting an arm across Chakotay's waist and burying his face against his lover's chest.   
  
Chakotay sighed and drew Tom close, his hands roaming over Tom's back and shoulders, caressing and exploring as his lips nuzzled at the soft, red-gold hair, nudging and trying to get Tom to lift his head. "Kiss me," he whispered. "I love you so much."   
  
Tom winced inwardly, Chakotay's words adding to his guilt and forcing him to face his nagging conscience. He tried to respond to Chakotay's gentle caresses, the playful nuzzling and nudging, but found his heart was not in it. He pulled away and turned on his side, facing away from Chakotay. "I...can't," he murmured.   
  
"Tom?" Chakotay raised himself on an elbow and put a hand on Tom's arm. "What is bothering you lately?"   
  
"Nothing." Tom closed his eyes. _Why do you have to be so caring and concerned?_   "I — guess I am just not in the mood. All my energies lately are focused on getting out of this situation. Getting back to Voyager. That's all."   
  
Chakotay swung his legs over the side of the bed, putting his elbows on his strong thighs and rubbing his face with both hands. "We will get out of this, Tom. I give you my word on it. It's going to take time though. I am learning more every day about how the temporal weapon works. I have already started some calculations."   
  
"Sure...we'll get out of it. I know that." Tom was glad of a change of subject. "I just want it to happen as soon as possible." He turned to his other side, watching Chakotay's broad back. "What calculations?"   
  
"Do you remember the comet that made Voyager alter course and enter Krenim space?" Chakotay glanced over his shoulder at Tom. "It's just a comet. Uninhabited, unimportant, I think. If we destroy it, we will be able to reset the continuum and Voyager will never enter Krenim space." His eyes shone with certainty.   
  
Tom smiled. "That's great, big man! I'm sure it will work just fine." He met Chakotay's eyes with an effort. "Maybe, instead of wasting time here, we should both be working on ways to get out."   
  
Chakotay nodded, rising and walking into the bathroom. He turned on the taps for the shower and stepped into the hot stream. Ducking his head under the jets, he scrubbed at his face, closing his eyes. _Tom is lying to me...I can -feel- it...but why? What is he hiding? What is bothering him so badly that it affects his response to me?_  He turned his back to the water spray, letting the hot stream drum against his shoulders, tipping his head forward to allow the water access to his neck. He sighed.   
  
 _I've been so absorbed in my calculations, perhaps he feels neglected. — I'll try to spend a little more time with him. Maybe he'll open up to me. This closing off is unlike him. We've developed a trust over time and I know he appreciates that._  Chakotay picked up a bar of soap and began to lather his chest. After a moment, he called to Tom.   
  
"Care to join me, Wings?"   
  
There was no reply.   
  
Chakotay frowned. "Tom?"   
  
No response.   
  
"Tom? Don't tell me you went back to sleep? Wake up you lazy..." Stepping out of the shower as he spoke, Chakotay peered through the bathroom door towards the bed.   
  
Tom was gone. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just an additional warning for those who don't read tags, this story, and this chapter deal with the subject of infidelity (cheating).   
> I know it is not a pleasant subject, but it happens and I was inspired to write this by a canon conversation Tom and Chakotay had in the episode Year of Hell II.
> 
> Song for this chapter: [ Against All Odds](https://youtu.be/wuvtoyVi7vY)

Chakotay stood rooted to the spot for several moments, water dripping from his dark hair, the forgotten lather of soap slowly running down over his body to slide to the floor at his feet. 

His lips parted in surprise and puzzlement, his brows drew downwards in a frown of incomprehension. 

Tom was gone. 

Where? Why? And why did the fact that his lover had left the room without a word make his heart pound so? 

After a moment, he turned off the water of the shower, reaching for a towel as he stepped out and began to dry off. He scrubbed at his hair and shoulders, wrapping a second towel around his hips as he walked to the bed. He sat down, running a hand over the place where Tom had lain naked moments before, as though by touching it he could convince himself that his eyes saw the truth. 

_Something is wrong...terribly wrong...._  He blinked a few times, thinking back to the previous night. 

****************************flashback***************************** 

Chakotay walked into Tom's quarters. Rubbing at his forehead, he let his breath go in a deep sigh. He had the mother of all headaches and his mood was edgy. He walked to the cooler and opened it, seeking something chilled to drink. 

"Tom?" he called, picking up a bottle of chilled water. "Are you awake?" 

He moved towards the bedroom, removing the lid from the bottle and downing almost half its contents in one draught. 

Tom lay on the bed, naked except for his shorts, and sound asleep. His blonde hair was tousled and his cheeks flushed with slumber. As Chakotay watched him silently, Tom rolled over, muttering something unintelligible in his sleep. 

Chakotay smiled. Sleeping, Tom looked sweet, his face having lost its customary shield of arrogance, softening into youthful innocence. 

Setting the bottle down, Chakotay moved to sit on the side of the bed. He was content to watch his lover for a little while, studying the line of his backbone under the fair skin, such a stark contrast to his own, deeply tanned body. He sighed, reaching out to trail a finger down Tom's spine. 

"Mmm…?" Tom lifted his head from the pillow, awakening with his customary wariness. Although he had improved a good deal since his fearful reaction months ago after an attack that saw them quarantined together,* he had never lost his innate fear of being woken suddenly, no matter how gentle Chakotay's caresses were. 

"Hi, Baby," Chakotay trailed his finger back up along Tom's spine, watching its progress with rapt attention. "Sorry to come in so late," he ran his fingertip across the back of Tom's neck, pausing when he noted the sudden tension in his young lover's body. 

"What is it, Tom? Is something wrong?" 

"No. I'm tired. It's late."  By an almost imperceptible margin, Tom pulled away from his touch. The movement was slight, but Chakotay didn't miss it.

 

****************************end flashback***************************** 

Tom walked along the hallway, his hair still tousled from sleep, the brown jacket he wore, loosely closed, tied at the waist with a sash in matching color. 

He'd dressed hastily when Chakotay got into the shower and left to prowl the halls of the Krenim ship aimlessly. He had no fixed destination in mind, just needed to be moving, active, anything to take his mind off Chakotay, anything to stop the face of Obrist imposing itself over that of his lover. Anything to escape his own accusing conscience. 

"God!" He cried aloud and stopped in his tracks, clapping a hand to his brow. _Stop this! Stop it, Tom! You're gonna drive yourself nuts!_  He turned, retracing his steps, walking faster than before as his mind whirled with a thousand thoughts a minute. _Chakotay — Obrist — Voyager — Betrayal — Love — Desire — Betrayal! Traitor! Cheat! Liar! Whore!_

"No!" 

Tom came to a halt, his hands gripping his temples. Closing his eyes as he breathed hard. "Get a grip..." he spoke softly in the empty hallway. _Focus...you're not betraying anyone...this is something you have to do...to get information…to find a way out, that's all._  

"Paris?" The voice was low, tentative. 

Tom opened his eyes and found himself staring into the black, searching eyes of the Krenim officer, Obrist. 

"Is something wrong?" Obrist studied him closely,his gaze unwavering. 

Sighing, Tom forced himself to smile. "No, I always talk to myself in deserted hallways." He forced a mirthless chuckle from his throat. "You sure have a habit of sneaking up on people, don't you?" 

"Sneaking?" Obrist tipped his head to one side, regarding Paris with a puzzled expression. "I was walking along the hallway quite openly. You did not seem to notice." 

Tom smiled and shrugged slightly. "I'll admit I was a little preoccupied." He took a step closer to Obrist. "Are you on duty?" 

Obrist shook his head. "Just finished." He paused, looking Tom over. "Whilst you, it seems, just awoke?" 

Tom nodded, letting his eyelids droop deliberately. He watched Obrist for a moment, his lips parting to reveal even white teeth before he replied. "Yes, sir..." 

Obrist narrowed his eyes, his head inclined inquisitively, regarding Tom with a speculative expression. "Sir?" He chuckled softly. "I am not your superior officer. We don't even serve the same fleet." 

"No." Tom shrugged. "I guess it's just a figure of speech." 

"I see...." 

Obrist closed the small distance between them. Lifting one gloved hand, he touched the tip of his thumb to Tom's face, just under his right eye. His breath was warm, close to Tom's face. "Your eyes...fascinate me," he stroked the soft flesh with his thumb, tracing the line of Tom's cheekbone, then ran his gloved fingers down the side of the pilot's neck. 

Tom swallowed, blinking rapidly for a few times. He opened his mouth to speak, then closed it, firmly. He shivered a little. _God...Chakotay...forgive me!_  

* * *

In the shadows of the hallway, unseen, he watched them. 

In the depths of his heart, a sharp knife-edged pain twisted. 

Chakotay wanted to cry out. Wanted to call his lover's name. Wanted to stop what he saw unfolding, but was somehow powerless. He could only stand, shaking, weak, hurting … and watch. 

Watch … as Obrist touched Tom's face, caressing him, speaking softly. 

Watch … as Tom allowed the touch without any sign of resistance. 

Watch … as his world crumbled to ashes around him. 

Watch … as Tom's hand reached up to cover Obrist's. 

Watch … as Tom took Obrist by the hand, and walked away with him. 

Watch...  as white-hot agony tore the breath from his lungs in a silent, wrenching sob before he turned and stumbled away to his own quarters. Mute. Broken. Lost.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * See "Quarnatine"   
> (Not yet posted to AO3, coming soon)


	7. Chapter 7

Obrist led Tom into his quarters and walked with him to the center of the room, where he let go Tom's hand and turned to face him.   
  
"Stand there. Don't move."   
  
Tom lifted his chin and straightened his shoulders, looking into Obrist's eyes. This was a familiar game. One Tom had played before and he did as he was instructed, silent, watchful, compliant.   
  
"Good." Obrist came to him and quickly untied the sash that held the jacket. Swiftly, almost roughly, he pushed the jacket back from Tom's shoulders and down his arms to fall to the floor behind the young human.   
  
Taking hold of Tom's chin with leather clad fingers, Obrist tipped his face upwards, then turned Tom's head from side to side, examining him as one might examine an animal on sale at some market.   
  
"Open your mouth." His voice was still soft, non-threatening.   
  
Tom did so.   
  
"Good." Obrist allowed a shadow of a smile to touch his lips. "You may close your mouth." He released his hold on Tom's chin and stepped back. "Remove the pants."   
  
Tom allowed a lazy grin to spread over his features as he obeyed, untying the drawstring and letting the brown slacks fall at his feet.   
  
"The undergarment also." Obrist's glittering black eyes traveled over Tom's body, appraising. When Tom was naked before him, he stepped closer again. A gentle nudge with gloved fingers lifted Tom's chin higher. "Lower your eyes. Keep your head up. Stand straighter." He nodded as Tom complied. "You are well trained...that is good."   
  
Tom found his pulse quickening, aroused despite the fact that Obrist had not touched him as yet, save to position his head or stroke his face. He blinked and his lips parted, his agitated breathing loud in the quiet room. His guilt was pushed aside, his shame forgotten as Obrist took control.   
  
"Kneel."   
  
Tom dropped to his knees, held in some primitive thrall, unable and unwilling to break free. He trembled, biting his lower lip. Eyes downcast, chin held high.   
  
Obrist moved a small distance away, to lean on the table where they had played Kloona. "Look at me." A silken command.   
  
Tom raised his eyes, looking into the dark, dark depths of the other man's eyes. Unconsciously he licked his lips. Saw the smile that touched the thin lips of the man who held sway over him.   
  
He knelt, motionless as the compelling black eyes broke their hold of his gaze and traveled downwards, inspecting him. When they rested on his cock, Tom groaned, feeling his erect member jerk in response to Obrist's possessive gaze.   
  
"Stand up, and approach me."   
  
"Yes....sir." Tom panted, clambering to his feet.   
  
"Silence. You will not speak to me unless I bid it."   
  
Tom bit his lips, approaching Obrist slowly until they stood face to face.   
  
A gloved hand trailed over Tom's chest, exploring the fine golden hair that grew there, fingers tracing around one nipple as Tom closed his eyes, shuddering with anticipation. The hand worked lower, over his toned abs, tracing the outline of muscles, teasing a response from him. 

  
  
Obrist watched Tom intently, never taking his eyes away from the handsome young man's face. "We are alike, you and I. We respond to the same caresses, our bodies are tuned to the same sensation." He spoke softly, his lips close to Tom's ear, as though he was whispering dark secrets. "Do you deny that you want this?"   
  
"No..." Tom's voice was lost somewhere in the back of his throat. His reply was a breathy whisper. "I want you."   
  
"Good." Obrist's hand moved ever lower, tracing tantalizing circles on Tom's belly, circling his navel and continuing its circuitous path down until the soft leather of the glove grazed the tip of Tom's aching cock.   
  
Tensing, the air rushing out of his lungs on a stifled cry, Tom threw his head back, closing his eyes and thrusting his hips forward against that teasing hand.   
  
"No!" Obrist rapped out the command, his voice such a contrast to the soft tones used until this moment that Tom started.   
  
"Do not move! Do not speak! Keep your eyes open and _look_  at me!"   
  
With a superhuman effort, Tom complied.   
  
Obrist brought his other hand to the back of Tom's head, pulling him into a passionate kiss, his tongue plundering Tom's mouth, thrusting between his lips and teeth to explore boldly. At the same time, his gloved hand closed around Tom's cock, stroking him slowly, a thumb rubbing across the small opening at the tip.   
  
Tom shuddered, whimpering as he fought to hold back a cry of pleasure. His cock ached, the sensation of leather against his skin driving him wild with desire. The lips and tongue of his partner continued their tender assault of his mouth and Tom sucked tentatively on Obrist's tongue, finding the taste of him different to any man he'd had before, yet not unpleasant. Obrist groaned and Tom was emboldened to suck harder on the invading tongue.   
  
Releasing his hold on Tom's head, Obrist broke the kiss, trailing a thumb across Tom's bruised mouth, admiring the swelling his passion had caused. "Enough of that," he said softly. Stepping back he released his grip on Tom's erection and raked the young man's body with smouldering black eyes. Slowly, he began to remove his own clothing.   
  
Tom felt his breathing grow yet more ragged as he watched the darkly handsome Krenim undress before him. He moaned, involuntarily and bit his lips, meeting Obrist's darkly glowering eyes with an apologetic gaze.   
  
"Come here, kneel before me." Obrist spoke in a voice barely more than a murmur.   
  
Tom walked over and dropped to his knees in front of Obrist, who chose that moment to unfasten his uniform slacks and let them slide down his legs so that Tom found himself confronted at eye level with the Krenim's erect cock. He gasped, staring in mute amazement.   
  
Obrist's cock was not huge by any standards, but not too small either. The thing that made Tom gasp was its appearance. He stared at the dark, patterned flesh, marked by the same lines and spots that appeared on the man's face but without --Tom was relieved to note -- the horn-like protuberances that Obrist bore at his temples. Tom parted his lips, studying the smooth texture with greedy eyes, his own arousal increasing to almost agonizing proportions.   
  
"Go ahead, Paris. Taste..."   
  
Tom glanced up at Obrist's face for an instant. Then, he leaned forward, taking hold of Obrist's cock in one hand, holding it as he slipped his mouth over the tip of it, tentatively, slowly, tasting and exploring, running his tongue around the glans and pulling the foreskin back using a combination of his fingers and his mouth.   
  
Obrist closed his eyes, his breath hissing between clenched teeth, tipping his head back as he took hold of Tom's hair in both hands, ensuring that Tom could not draw back as he began to slowly slide his swollen member in and out of Tom's mouth. He moaned with pleasure, pushing deeper, concentrating on the sensation of Tom's hot, moist mouth clamped around him, his tongue, teasing and fluttering against the engorged organ. "Paris ... Paris ... yes ..." He whispered, fucking Tom's mouth gently, at first, but his actions gradually becoming less controlled as his pleasure mounted.   
  
Tom opened his mouth as wide as possible to take Obrist's cock deeply into his mouth and throat, sucking gently with each outward movement that Obrist made, feeling the tension mounting in his partner and delighting in being able to excite the Krenim so. His free hand trailed down to seize his own cock in a firm grip, stroking himself in rhythm to Obrist's thrusting.   
  
Obrist moaned and suddenly pulled back, removing himself from Tom's mouth, he pulled Tom to his feet and guided him over to the table, pushing him forward so that his hands leaned on the surface of it, stepping back he spoke softly. "Stand there, don't move. Wait for me." Then he turned and walked into the bedroom, returning a few moments later.   
  
Tom groaned deep in his throat as he felt Obrist's hands grip the cheeks of his butt, spreading them. Obrist had removed the gloves and it was warm skin that he felt on his body. He trembled, closing his eyes and waited, anticipating the invasion of Obrist's erect cock into his ass.   
  
He gasped and his body went rigid for a moment when, instead of the hardness he had expected, something warm and wet caressed him. Obrist's tongue traced a tantalizing circle around his anus then, gently, slowly thrust within the tight, puckered opening.   
  
Tom was lost, his mind reeling with the exquisite sensations aroused in him by Obrist's teasing tongue. He groaned loudly, forgetting the command to be silent that Obrist had given and whispered the Krenim's name.   
  
Obrist answered Tom's groan with a small growl of pleasure, his tongue continuing to probe and explore the beautiful young human's body. After a few moments, he shifted his attentions from Tom's ass to his balls, sucking on them gently. He reached forward to grasp Tom's aching cock in his hand, stroking him and slipping a finger into the tight, hot hole his tongue had occupied just moments before.   
  
Tom shuddered, knees buckling; his mind reeled from the heady sensations. He whimpered, knowing that he could not hold back the mounting climax. As Obrist slipped a second finger into him, Tom gritted his teeth, throwing his head backwards and arching his back as a long, shuddering groan came from his throat.   
  
"Please ..." he moaned, breaking again the silence Obrist had imposed upon him but hardly caring. "Please ..."   
  
Obrist chuckled, removing his fingers from Tom's ass and gripping the young man's hips, pulling him to his knees on the floor and pushing his head forward until Tom lay, head and shoulders on the floor and haunches raised. He put his hands on Tom's ass and pulled the cheeks apart, staring down at the small, tight opening for a moment before he pressed the tip of his cock to it. He pushed forward, feeling Tom tense a little as the head of his erection slipped past the tight ring of muscle.   
  
He paused a moment, letting Tom's body accustom to the fullness; then he began a slow, gentle bump and grind, savoring the slim, pale body. Obrist closed his eyes and groaned, fucking the beautiful human whom he'd desired almost from the moment he'd seen him in the bath tub that first time.   
  
Tom moaned, his senses reeling with pleasure, his heart racing. _God, I want this I want it so badly!_  He began to move a little, urging his body back to meet Obrist's thrusts, whimpering with pleasure and want, urging Obrist to take him, harder and faster. Lost to any thought apart from the pleasure he felt and the desire for orgasm that drove everything else out of his head. He cried out as Obrist increased the pace, their bodies meeting at the end of each thrust with a resounding slap and Tom strained, the cords of his neck standing out, face flushing with passion as he felt the pressure in his balls build to an unbearable peak.   
  
Obrist whispered to his young partner, words of encouragement and passion. Leaning forwards, he gripped Tom's lean, muscular shoulders for extra purchase driving himself deeper and harder into Tom's yielding body. He drew a sharp breath slamming his hips hard against Tom's behind, burying himself deeper and deeper into the young human, throwing his head back with a triumphant shout as his climax ripped through him.   
  
He held Tom tight against him, moving spasmodically as his body spurted its fulfillment into the human under him and he collapsed sobbing for breath, his cheek resting on Tom's back and tears starting from his eyes in an unaccountable rush of emotion.   
  
Tom matched Obrist's shout with an almost demented yowl of his own as the shuddering of the Krenim's body pushed him, too, over the edge into orgasm. He sobbed and moaned, willingly pushing himself backwards locking his body to that of his alien lover in a rictus of ecstasy. He felt his own come spurt across his belly and thighs as he knelt under Obrist, eyes closed, whimpering.   
  
Thus they lay together for several minutes, neither willing nor able to move as gradually the tension eased.   
  
As his mind slowly returned to reality, Obrist pushed himself up, and withdrew from Tom's body, trailing a gentle hand down the young human's spine and murmuring to him, words of praise and assurance.   
  
Tom knelt for some time after Obrist had withdrawn, allowing the hand to continue to caress him gently. He let his mind wander, not wanting to focus on anything yet, unwilling to return to complete clarity. He knew that this moment was a meager respite; that his conscience would return all too soon to burn him with guilt. Knowing, dreading and delaying that moment for as long as possible.   
  


* * *

 

Chakotay sat in total darkness, hidden away inside his pain and confusion. He'd tried to meditate, but the spirit guide had eluded him, perhaps frightened away by the black despair inside him. It consumed him.   
Not since the time he spent in the hands of the Cardassians had so deep a blackness seized him. He would have wept had the pain not been so profound, but tears did not come. Only this aching, numbing, all consuming darkness in his spirit and mind. It crippled him.   
  
 _Tom...Why? Why?_    
  
There was no answer. Why does pain visit anyone? Why are humans fickle? Why does attraction strike so suddenly? How can something that burned with such intensity suddenly be so changed? How could he survive this? Why did his heart yet beat?   
  
Closing his eyes against the tearing pain, he rested his head against the back of the sofa, making an effort to pull his thoughts together. He had to focus, he had to think. There was a reason for all of this, or if no reason then, a purpose. Everything that happened had a purpose, of that he was certain. It was just a matter of finding it.   
  
At first, he'd wanted to follow them, to confront Tom in the very act of betrayal, to scream his anger, hurt and despair. That had proven impossible, his feet would simply not carry him after Tom. His heart shrank from the possibility of seeing Tom in an even more intimate situation than he'd already witnessed.   
  
He retreated, he brooded and he waited, hours it had been. Hoping desperately that Tom would come to him, that this would turn out to be a nightmare. That Tom would have some simple explanation that would set things right.   
  
Tom had not come. Chakotay knew — he would not. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Day 161**

  
"I'm so tired, Paris..." Obrist lay on his bed, Tom cradled in his arms, his dark eyes reflective as he spoke softly. "We have been out here two hundred years. Alone and cut off from home. I want it to end. I want to return to where I came from. Or just — fade out of existence."   
  
Tom raised himself on an elbow, gazing down at Obrist. "I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like for you." He stroked the man's cheek, then traced the dark lines on Obrist's temple. "Voyager is different, I mean, sure we're lost. Yet, we have some hope of getting home. Maybe not tomorrow, or anytime soon. Hope is there for us though."   
  
"Yes. Somewhere, perhaps a long way away, the people you love, those you left, are waiting."   
  
Obrist drew a deep breath and closed his eyes. "Do you know that who we are...our souls, our personalities, all of it, is made up of those we love? Our very identity is composed from and by and through the people who have touched and shaped our lives." He was silent for a time. "But we, the men on board this ship, we have nothing left. Everyone is gone. Sometimes, I wonder if we really even exist."   
  
"You exist. You're here with me, aren't you? You've touched my life. You've become a part of who I am. You exist, as surely as _I_  do." Tom touched Obrist's lips with a fingertip, then removed it and replaced it with his lips. _But what if he_ doesn't  _exist? What if we, Obrist, Chakotay and I, Voyager are all just shadows of something created and wiped out again by Annorax?_  
  
After a moment, he pulled back and looked into Obrist's dark, sorrowful eyes. "We hafta stop it, Obrist. We have to find a way. Please help me?"   
  
Obrist shook his head and then sat up, turning his back to Tom as he swung his legs over the side of the bed.   
  
"It's not that easy, Paris. I've told you how many times I have tried. Annorax is so obsessed with this method of resetting history that he simply would not _listen_  to any other theory. Sometimes, I think he has gone completely insane."   
  
Tom shook his head, exasperated. He got up, pacing the floor a moment before he picked up his jacket and slipped it on. "How long did it take you to figure that out?" He paused staring at Obrist's back. "How many more centuries of this do you think you can stand? How much longer is the good ship 'Total Erasure' gonna continue this madness!?"   
  
Tom regretted the words the moment he spoke. He watched Obrist's shoulders tense as though he'd been dealt a physical blow. Saw the hurt in the dark eyes that turned to meet his own. He swallowed and cursed himself for his hasty tongue. "Obrist ..." He took a step forward.   
  
"I am due for duty in 15 minutes," Obrist said. His tone was clipped. He walked into the bathroom and closed the door with a gentle swish behind him, leaving Tom alone.   
  
Tom stood for a moment rooted to the spot then sighing softly, he closed his eyes for a moment. Berating himself for not keeping a closer guard on his tongue, he walked over to the bathroom door.   
"Obrist, I'm sorry. That was uncalled for. I'll ... talk to you when you finish your shift. OK?"   
  
There was no response.   
  


* * *

  
  
Chakotay stood on the Bridge of the Krenim ship, his dark eyes scanning and rescanning the display of the Continuum. It was time to present the theory he'd formulated to Annorax.   
  
He had worked feverishly. Night after night as Tom remained secluded with Obrist. Chakotay had calculated, simulated, recalculated hour upon hour. Using the mathematical and temporal figures to cover and numb the pain. The wretched sense of betrayal. It had almost worked. For a time, he had been able to convince himself that it didn't hurt all that much. He could survive without Tom.   
  
For a time …   
  
But he knew it was only an illusion. As soon as he stopped work, the pain and darkness would crush in upon his heart and mind. Driving him to the point of insanity, despair would flood everything out of his head, leaving him gasping.   
  
So, he worked, worked hard and long. One desperate calculation after another. His whole being focused upon finding a way to reset the continuum, to get them out of this. Because then, none of it would have happened. In his mind, Annorax's words had become like a litany, a gateway out of his despair.   
  
 _'Restore Voyager.' 'Reset history.' 'You and I would never have met.' 'In the blink of an eye.'_  
  
Chakotay wanted that. Wanted it with a passion that drove reason completely from his mind. _If we never meet them, Tom will never betray me. If we never meet them, I will never face this. If we never meet them ..._  
  
"What have you devised?" Annorax's voice brought Chakotay back to the present. He glanced at the Krenim with a small, confident smile. Then, he returned his dark eyes to the display.   
  
"Component 37329. A rogue comet. About eight months ago, Voyager made a course correction to avoid the comet. According to my calculations, it led to our entering Krenim space."   
  
"The solution then, would be to erase that comet from history." Annorax came to stand at his side as he spoke.   
  
"Exactly. Voyager would have stayed on it's course and bypassed Krenim space altogether." _Bypassed me losing the only person who means anything to me._  
  
Annorax frowned slightly, his grey eyes studying the display carefully. "Hmm," he murmured, "Sounds simple enough." Annorax nodded encouragingly. "Conduct a simulation."   
  
Chakotay turned to a console and pressed a few controls. "Temporal incursion, in progress."   
  
He turned back to watch the display, his face registering surprise and then horror as the continuum appeared to fly apart at the seams. In seconds, the tidy ordered lines of time twisted and contorted themselves into an ugly, tangled morass of loose ends, raveled threads and complete chaos.   
  
"What happened?"   
  
"Had you actually eradicated that comet, all life within ...fifty light years would never have existed." Annorax pointed out. "Congratulations!" He turned to reset the display to its former order. "You almost wiped out eight thousand civilizations." He couldn't suppress an amused chuckle at the look of dawning understanding on Chakotay's face.   
  
"I failed to take into account the entire history of the comet."   
  
Annorax nodded, moving over to another display as Chakotay followed him. "Four billion years ago, fragments from that comet impacted a planet." He tapped a button on the console before him, bringing up a display on screen. "Hydrocarbons from those fragments, gave rise to several species of plant life. Which in turn, sustained more complex organisms." He glanced at the intense expression on the younger man's face as he went on. "Ultimately, several space faring civilizations evolved, and colonized the entire sector."   
  
Chakotay frowned, cursing himself for the careless haste that led to such a glaring mistake. "By erasing that comet, I altered all evolution in this region." His voice was awed, almost fearful as he considered the implications if he had erased that comet in real time.   
  
"Past, present and future," Annorax murmured. "They exist as one. They _breathe_  together!" His grey eyes burned with intensity intense as he met Chakotay's gaze.   
  
Chakotay turned to face him, looking into those knowledgeable eyes, studying the flickering shadows of pain and regret.   
  
"You're not the only one to have made this mistake." Annorax moved back to the main display screen. "When I first constructed this ... weapon ship," he turned his head, looking up and around at the bulkheads and framework of his vessel. "I turned it against our greatest enemy, the Rilnar." For a moment the soft grey eyes touched Chakotay's again before Annorax turned away. "The result was — miraculous! With the Rilnar gone from history, my people, in an instant, became powerful again. But there were problems." Annorax gently struck Chakotay on the upper arm, indicating that the Commander should follow him as he headed across the bridge.   
  
"A rare disease broke out amongst our colonies. In a year, fifty million were dead. I had failed to realize that the Rilnar had introduced a crucial antibody into the Krenim genome, and my weapon had eradicated that antibody as well." His voice was soft, filled with regret and sorrow.   
  
"And you've been trying to undo that damage ever since!" Chakotay finally began to understand a little of what drove Annorax. "But each time you pulled out a new thread, another one began to unravel." He looked into Annorax's eyes, lost for words to express the sympathy he felt for this man. He struggled to understand, even if only a little, what it must be like to carry such a burden of guilt and remorse.   
  
As though reading Chakotay's mind, Annorax replied, "You can't imagine the burden of memory that I carry. Thousands of worlds, billions of lives, gone, brought back, gone again — I try to rationalize the loss — 'They're not really being destroyed, because they never really existed'. Sometimes, I can almost convince myself."   
  
"You've been at this for two hundred years, Annorax. What makes you think that you're ever going to succeed?"   
  
"What makes _you_ think that Voyager will ever reach Earth? The odds against you are astronomical! Yet, you keep trying."   
  
Chakotay smiled slightly, conceding the point. "You're right. But we don't destroy everything that stands in our way."   
  
"You can help me to change that, Chakotay!" Perhaps sensing that he was losing Chakotay's alliance, Annorax leaned forward, locking eyes with the commander "Together, we'll restore the Krenim and Voyager; and undo the damage that I have caused!"   
  
"I have still got a lot to learn." Chakotay's voice was uncertain.   
  
"Come, it is time I show you the heart of this vessel." Annorax walked off the bridge with Chakotay at his heels.   
  
Stepping off the bridge behind Annorax, Chakotay was suddenly brought up short. His eyes widened, his breath caught in his throat as he stopped, staring.   
  
Approaching along the hallway, from the opposite direction, was Obrist.   
  
"Good evening sir," Obrist said. "Commander."   
  
Chakotay did not respond, could not. His voice was caught somewhere in his guts, tied up in a knot of jealous rage that refused to allow him the power of speech. He nodded, mute, staring into Obrist's dark eyes.   
  
Obrist drew level with him, and paused. Their eyes locked. They stared at one another, breath suspended, dark brown eyes burning into black as the silence between them stretched into what seemed like hours.   
  
Chakotay lifted his chin, hands curling into fists at his sides. Unable to look away, he glared into the eyes of this man who had dared to take away the one person Chakotay cared for more than anyone else in his life. In his mind, his fingers curled around Obrist's throat, crushing, squeezing the life from him. He clenched his hands tighter, until he felt fingernails bite into his flesh.  
  
Obrist narrowed his eyes, expression almost mocking as he stared Chakotay down. For the space of several heartbeats they stood there, silent, staring until Annorax called Chakotay's name, and the spell broke.   
  
Lowering his eyes, Obrist moved, stepping past the Human commander, moving out onto the bridge of the ship.   
  
Chakotay turned to watch Obrist go, nausea churning in the pit of his stomach as he realized that Obrist knew. Obrist was aware of what Tom meant to Chakotay and he gloated at it.

Chakotay swallowed hard, passing his tongue across parched lips and turned away. He followed Annorax into the heart of the Krenim vessel. 


	9. Chapter 9

**DAY 164**

  
Chakotay leaned on the door-frame outside Tom's cabin, one leg supporting his weight and allowed a lazy grin to spread across his lips as the door slid open to reveal Tom standing just inside the door.   
  
"Hi, Wings."   
  
"Chakotay!" Tom's face registered surprise, but not much pleasure at the sight of his lover. He quickly recovered himself, smiling. "It seems like...days since we saw each other."   
  
"Try again. It has been longer that." Chakotay walked into the room. Driving Tom backwards by the sheer force of his presence until the pilot backed into the edge of a table and was brought up short. His blue eyes darkened with something close to fear as he looked up at Chakotay.   
  
"Too long, Tom." Chakotay cupped Tom's chin in a strong, brown hand, staring down into those soft, blue orbs. "I'm ... hungry." He rasped out, his voice almost a growl before he bent down to crush his mouth to Tom's in a bruising, punishing kiss without a trace of tenderness.   
  
Chakotay growled again as he heard Tom's breath rush out in a passionate sigh. When Chakotay felt Tom's beginning response to him, he pulled away, breaking the kiss with a muttered curse.   
  
Tom frowned. He lifted a hand to touch his bruised lips. He watched Chakotay warily. He'd knew this mood. It always led to a fight. He licked his lips. "Nice to see you, too."   
  
"Is it?" Chakotay's gaze rested on Tom's face for a moment. "Perhaps that is why you've so _constantly_ sought my company recently?"   
  
Tom sighed moving to step past his lover and halted with a small cry as a hand closed on his arm with a vice-like grip. "Chakotay! That hurts!"   
  
Chakotay relaxed his grip a little. "Sorry."   
  
Rubbing his arm, Tom leaned back against the edge of the table. He decided attack was the best form of defense.   
  
"I've noticed _you_ hanging out _here_ an awful lot too!" He snarked.   
  
Chakotay's jaw dropped. He stared at Tom in mute amazement. A fierce light of anger flickered in his eyes. He stepped forward, pushing Tom hard against the table, both hands gripping the pilot's arms.   
  
"I've been busy...working on a way to get us out of this situation! You knew that!" He shook Tom for emphasis.   
  
  
"And what d'you think have I been doing, Commander? You think I've just been sitting here twiddling my thumbs while you were on your personal campaign to save the universe?" He paused, then his voice turned silky as he added. "I've got my own way of getting us out of this, Chakotay, and I've been working just as hard as you."   
  
Tom wasn't sure how it happened, but an instant later, he reeled to the floor, sparks exploding behind his eyes as bright pain bloomed across one cheek. He landed, prone, and turned to gaze over his shoulder in mute shock.  _He hit me!_ Sitting up, Tom pressed his fingertips to his smarting face, blinking back tears of wounded pride.  
  
"Damn you, Tom! And damn your insolent mouth!" Chakotay trembled with barely suppressed rage, staring down at the younger man where he lay, nursing his reddened cheek.  "I have to get out of here before I do something we will both regret!" He turned and left rapidly, his exit punctuated by the final, soft hiss of the door behind him.   
  
Tom got up, slowly, and made his way into the bathroom. He stared at the red weals on his cheek reflected back from the mirror.  Cursing, forcing back the tears that still threatened, he soaked a wash cloth in cold water and pressed it to his face.  Being hit wasn't the problem, Tom had taken more than his share of licks in his life. It was the fact that the usually gentle hand of his lover had done it. Tom met his own gaze in the mirror as he murmured. "He knows. Chakotay knows. Oh God!"   
  
He let his shoulders slump, leaning over the basin and nursing the hurt to his face and his pride, but these were nothing compared to the pain of knowing he had hurt Chakotay to the point where he would strike him. He closed his eyes, letting the tears fall at last, splashing onto the hand that supported him on the side of the wash basin.   
  
"Paris..." Obrist's voice spoke softly behind him.   
  
"Obrist!" Tom straightened quickly, turning to face the Krenim first officer, forcing the tears back and managing a weak smile that didn't touch his eyes.   
  
"You are hurt." Obrist moved forward, pulling Tom's hand away from the bruised cheek. "How did this happen?" His dark eyes studied Tom's face, one finger gently touching the bruise.   
  
Tom drew a sharp, hissing breath of pain. "Chakotay," he said flatly.   
  
Obrist's expression was puzzled. "Your Commanding Officer _struck_ you?"   
  
"I guess he did." Tom winced at the bitterness in his tone.   
  
"Why?"   
  
Tom sighed, stepping past Obrist into the bedroom. "He didn't like something I said, I suppose." He evaded.   
  
"You and Chakotay are...more than mere crew-mates." Obrist followed him, moving to stand behind Tom and rest his gloved hands on the Human's shoulders.   
  
"What makes you say that?" Tom turned to Obrist, slipping his arms around the man's waist and drawing him close.   
  
Obrist paused a moment in that thoughtful way he had. "Just a feeling I get."   
  
Tom smiled, running his hands up and down Obrist's spine, fingers probing, tracing the line of muscles and sinew. "We've been close, I guess you could say."   
  
"I could say intimate and not be wrong."   
  
Tom nodded. "You have an uncanny knack for getting to the heart of a matter. Are you sure you have no telepathic abilities?"   
  
"One need not be telepathic to know. You are obviously mated to him." Obrist said.   
  
Another mute nod from Tom.   
  
"And he has discovered that you and I are...intimate."   
  
"Yes."   
  
Obrist's eyes darkened with something indefinable and his gloved thumb came to trace the bruise on Tom's cheek again. He met Tom's eyes, his own filled with such a depth of emotion that it took Tom's breath away.   
  
"I am sorry you got hurt because of it," Obrist murmured. Then, he tenderly placed his lips against the bruise, pulling Tom closer, crushing the pale, slim human to him. "I cannot give you up, Paris."   
  
Tom closed his eyes, slipping his arms around the Krenim's shoulders, and sighed softly, driving the knife-edge of guilt and pain deeper into his own heart as he murmured. "No-one said you have to."   
  


* * *

  
Chakotay stormed into his own cabin, entering the room in a whirlwind of fury and hurt, pent up frustration coursing in his veins. He strode to the viewport and stared out, glaring with hot, reddened eyes at the stars beyond.   
  
After a moment, he turned away. Dark, intense eyes scanned the room, falling on the data pad on his table. The orderly lines of the temporal continuum mocked him. He strode to the table and picked the padd up, staring at it for a moment, reliving of his recent failure in the simulation.   
  
 _I've got my own way of getting us out of this, Chakotay, and I've been working just as hard as you."_  
  
Chakotay snarled, hurling the padd against a bulkhead where it smashed, splintering to the floor in pieces. He stared at it as the darkness boiled within him. He saw, superimposed, an image of Tom staring up at him from the floor. Dark blue, frightened eyes dazed, filled with pain and confusion.   
  
"Tom!" Chakotay's voice was a strangled cry of remorse as he dropped to his knees on the floor, "Tom! Spirits...I'm sorry...I'm sorry!" He let his head fall forward, burying his face in his hands 


	10. Chapter 10

**Day 166**

  
Chakotay sat alone at a table in what passed for the Krenim ship's mess hall. His eyes roamed over the few officers assembled in the room. Most of them appeared fresh-faced and vital with youth. A strange anomaly, given that all of them must be more than two centuries old. He took a sip of the bitter tasting alcoholic beverage served in the mess and let his eyes rest again on the officer whom he'd been watching for the past hour. 

 

* * *

Astemus glanced at the Human Commander uneasily. He had been aware of the intense scrutiny of the stranger almost as soon as he entered the mess. He smiled slightly, politely acknowledging the stranger's gaze before he turned back to the friend he was speaking with. 

"Torin, he is watching me, I am sure of it." As he spoke, Astemus jerked his head very slightly in Chakotay's direction. "I do not like it. His eyes ... they trouble me." 

"Relax, Astemus. He doesn't mean you any harm obviously. How many times did you escort him around this ship personally and he never hurt you?" Torin smiled. "You worry too much." He cast Chakotay a glance and a smile. "do you want another drink?" 

Astemus nodded, watching as his friend left the table. He bowed his head, eyes downcast, studying the tabletop in front of him. He could sense Chakotay's eyes on him still and found the attention unnerving. 

"Mind if I sit here?"

 

Astemus starltled, glancing up  at the human who had moved so quietly that the Krenim had not heard him approach.

 

Chakotay smiled, indicating the seat recently vacated by Torin. 

Astemus swallowed hard and nodded with what he hoped was a welcoming smile, mindful of Annorax's command that the two Humans were honored guests to be accommodated in every way possible. "Is — is there something I can help you with, Commander?" 

"Right now, all I need is some company." Chakotay smiled, letting his eyes run over the young officer before him. 

There was at least one officer like Astemus on every ship. Eager to please. Desperate to impress his seniors. On The Krenim ship, Astemus was the one. On Voyager, it was Kim. In the Maquis, it had been Geron; and somewhere, sometime, it had been Tom. 

Such men were useful. Chakotay intended to use Astemus to his own ends.

Astemus glanced around the mess, noting how everyone was at pains to ignore him and Chakotay, as though they were suddenly invisible. Even Torin seemed to have vanished. _Some friend he turns out to be._  Astemus turned his eyes back to Chakotay and found the intense, dark eyes fixed on him. "C-Commander?" 

"Chakotay." He smiled reassuringly at the young Krenim. 

"Cha-kotay." Astemus said the name with some difficulty. 

"What is your name?" 

"As-Astemus." The Krenim gulped. "Um ..." Astemus pushed his chair back from the table and stood up. "I ... I'd better be going, I have to be on duty early in the m-morning...." He trailed into silence as a warm, strong hand closed around his wrist. Looking at that hand, he then turned his eyes to Chakotay's face. 

"Stay." Chakotay gently but firmly pulled Astemus back to the table. 

Astemus swallowed hard, glancing helplessly around but seeing no hint that anyone was going to help him. He felt the gentle pressure on his wrist increase as Chakotay drew him back to sit at the table. He met the Human's eyes and shivered. 

"Please..." Chakotay purred.

"What do you want from me?" 

"I told you. For now, company." 

* * *

  
Tom awoke slowly, surrounded by the warmth. He sighed. A sound of contentment and turned to face his partner. 

Obrist's dark eyelashes fluttered against his cheeks as he slept, his eyelids fluttering as he dreamed. Tom wondered what the Krenim dreamed of and if his dreams were ever as tormented and frightening as his own. He used a finger to gently trace a black eyebrow and caress Obrist's forehead. 

In repose, Obrist looked incredibly young and vulnerable. Tom felt a stirring of emotion in his heart for the dark-haired man. Sighing again, he pressed his lips to Obrist's, kissing him awake. 

"Mmmmm..." Obrist murmured against Tom's lips. Opening his eyes, he smiled into the kiss. His lips continued the tender exploration Tom had started. 

Obrist flicked his tongue teasingly across Tom's lower lip, enticing him to part his lips and allowing his tongue to invade when Tom obliged. He pushed past the young human's lips and teeth, stroking the inside of the man's mouth, tasting the sweetness of him and sucking playfully at the tongue that came to meet his. He slipped his arms around the slim human and pulled him closer, rolling to pin Tom under his body, smiling down at him as he broke the kiss. 

"Gods," he whispered, "I am like a starving man...I cannot get enough of you, Paris." 

Tom moved provocatively under the Krenim, pressing his erect cock into Obrist's thigh. "I think the famine is universal, Major." His blue eyes twinkled with mischief as he watched the play of passion on Obrist's features. 

Chuckling, Obrist kissed Paris again, savoring the willing lips and Tom's eager body with delight. He prepared to take his fill of pleasure from the young human for the second time that evening.  Obrist knew he was falling in love with the beautiful human. Something that had not happened to him in more than a century. He was powerless to prevent it. He was unsure that he even wanted to. Tom was easy to love. 

* * *

  
Astemus stared at Chakotay silently as they stood together outside the doors of the Human Commander's cabin. He took a deep breath and bit his bottom lip. It was not as though he'd never slept with a man before. On this ship, it happened a lot. The absence of females made it necessary for a man to find and take relief where he could. 

"Come on," Chakotay said. "You're safe with me, I won't hurt you." 

Astemus nodded, swallowed hard and stepped through the door. 

Chakotay followed, closing the door as he entered. 

Astemus walked to the center of the room and stood looking around. After amoment, he squared his shoulders in true military fashion and  turned to face Chakotay. 

"Can I offer you a drink?" Chakotay crossed the room to the cooler, casting Astemus an inquiring glance as he went. 

"Yes, sir." Astemus nodded slightly. 

Opening the cooler, Chakotay peered into it. "I have water, or that alcoholic beverage you all seem to enjoy so much." 

"Water is fine, sir." Astemus wanted his wits about him if he was to survive this. Something told him that whatever the big Human had in mind, it would probably not be gentle. He smiled to hide his nervousness and perched himself uneasily on the edge of a sofa as Chakotay brought the drink to him and invited him to sit down. 

Chakotay seated himself in a chair opposite the Krenim and leaned back, smiling. "What can you tell me about Obrist?" 

The question took Astemus by surprise and he fumbled for a moment. "Obrist, sir?" 

"Chakotay." the commander insisted. 

"Obrist is our first officer..." Astemus shook his head at his own stupidity. _He knows that, you idiot!_ "He is a good man, a good officer, good friend ... a confidante you could say. At least, to me." He sipped his water. "It is not surprising that your subordinate is attracted to him." 

"It's not?" Chakotay leaned forward, his expression one of intense interest. "Why?" 

"All of us have been at one time or another. Obrist is a good lover, but he tires of partners quickly. Tom Paris is someone new, a fresh conquest. It will not last." Astemus leaned back on the sofa, relaxing a little. 

Chakotay had not missed the tone of voice as Astemus stated the relationship between the two would not last. It was telling. It confirmed something Chakotay already suspected. "Is Obrist your lover?" 

Astemus blinked several times, then looked into Chakotay's eyes. "He returns to me more often than the others. If that makes us lovers, then I guess we are. However, on this ship....commitment is not as strong a point of a relationship as you might find among your people." 

* * *

  
Obrist sighed deeply with pleasure. His movements became more feverish as he gazed down at Tom's beautiful face, contorted with pleasure, and listened to the fevered panting of the young human. He thrust harder, driving his body into Tom's with passionate abandon. Gritting his teeth, he uttered a strangled groan as he felt his orgasm approaching. 

Tom cried out with ecstasy, arching his body backwards against Obrist's, knowing that the Krenim was close. 

"Fuck me! Fuck me hard, Obrist." Tom yelled, gripping the bed sheets in both hands as Obrist slammed his hips hard against his ass and stayed there, buried deep between Tom's buttocks. 

"Oh gods! Paris...Paris!" Obrist collapsed, withdrawing from Tom's body and flinging himself down on his side. He pulled Tom into his arms, kissing him passionately. After a moment, he pulled back, staring into Tom's eyes. "I ... love you, Tom Paris." 

Tom went very still, gazing at Obrist for long moment. He shook his head, a soft smile touching his lips as he stroked Obrist's face. "No ... don't say that. You know it can't happen. Chakotay and I will have to leave...as soon as Voyager returns we will have to go back." He paused, as Obrist's black eyes darkened with something indefinable. "Obrist, please ..." 

Obrist shook his head, releasing Tom from his embrace and turned on his back. He stared up at the ceiling. Tom was right and he knew it, but it didn't make the hurt any less. He sighed. He was so tired of this useless life, this stunted existence where the feelings and dreams of a lifetime became nothing. Fruitless, hopeless. Where was the use in loving anyone? Where was the use in allowing yourself to feel, to desire or hope for anything better. It was laughable. Obrist would have laughed, were it not his heart, his life, his future dissolving before his eyes. 

 _We have to end this madness!_ He thought. _It has gone on long enough!_

He turned to Paris, gazing at the fair skinned, beautiful human in silence for a long time. _But, when this ends, he will be gone..._ Obrist closed his eyes at the thought and gritted his teeth. _I am sorry, Tom Paris. I cannot let you go. Not yet._

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Day 207**  
  
 _The Game_  
  
Tom sat at the table, adjacent to Obrist, gazing thoughtfully at the Kloona board. Obrist had him fairly well cornered and he was about to lose the game. He calculated, studying the arrangement of the pieces examining and discarding several sequences. He sighed in defeat. Then, a slow smile spread across his lips as he reached forward and picked up a piece. In three swift moves, he cleared the board and cast Obrist a mischievous glance as he slotted the captured pieces back into the storage tray.   
  
"Astounding!" Obrist leaned back, staring at the board in amazement.   
  
"Not really. I get lucky now and again."   
  
"No, your end-game sequence. It was ... the same one favored by my brother."   
  
"To quote a long lost friend of mine..." Tom continued to put away the gaming pieces as he spoke "It seemed logical." He cast Obrist a quick glance and then sat gazing at the Krenim who was staring into the middle distance with a sorrowful frown. "Now what?"   
  
Obrist came out of his reverie with a small start. Picking up the gaming pieces, he began to set up another game. "I used to honor the day of his birth."   
  
"Who?" Tom stared at the Krenim first officer. _He needs to talk about this stuff, it's been a long time holding it all back I suppose._  
  
"My brother." Obrist paused, his frown deepening. "And my parents, my closest friends. Every year at first..."   
  
Tom nodded silently, prompting the Major to continue.   
  
"Then, one day I realized, a century had passed, and, for years I had been celebrating birthdays ... for the dead." His dark eyes clouded and he drew a deep breath then let it go with a small, subdued sound. "Or for people ... who never even existed."   
  
It was unimaginable. Unfathomable. The pain such a realization must cause. Tom knew that sooner or later, if Voyager didn't get home, he and his friends would have to come to the point as well. Would have to acknowledge that those they loved would die, without ever seeing them again. His blue eyes clouded with the knowledge and this time, it didn't seem trite to murmur, "I'm sorry."   
  
Obrist nodded acknowledgement, then seemed to shrug off the gloom that had fallen over him. He glanced at Tom with a small smile and gestured to the board. "Another game?"   
  
"Sure...why not?" Tom leaned forward and briefly touched Obrist's hand and received a small smile for the gesture before the Major picked up a piece and made his first move.   
  
  


* * *

  
  
Chakotay sat at the table in his quarters staring down at the PADD in his hand and running over calculations in his mind. He was almost onto something. He could *feel* it. So close...so close. He knew he would make a breakthrough any moment if he just kept at this. He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to clear his vision.   
  
When the door slid open, he didn't look up. Expecting Astemus, he kept working, knowing the young Krenim would find something to occupy himself with until Chakotay was ready. Chakotay sighed and pressed a few data keys, watching the patterns change and reform on the board. {Almost...almost...} He bit his lip and tried another combination.   
  
"You can put that thing down, Chakotay." Tom glanced over his shoulder to make sure the door had closed behind him and no one could hear him. "No need to strain your eyes anymore."   
  
Chakotay looked up, but kept the PADD in his hands. He watched as Tom came to the table and leaned forward, resting his hands on the table top. Their eyes met for an instant before Chakotay tore his gaze away to hide his own guilt and shame.   
  
He'd not seen Tom since the night when he'd struck him and left him lying on the floor in his cabin. He passed his tongue across dry lips and was about to speak when Tom cut him off.   
  
"I've got a plan."   
  
"Let's hear it." Chakotay still didn't look up.   
  
"This ship's temporal core keeps the ship out of phase with normal space time, but its shields are incredibly weak!" Tom paused, trying to meet Chakotay's eyes. He'd spent weeks working to get this information. Sacrificed a lot. Even risked losing Chakotay's love and now all the commander could do was to stare fixedly down at that damned continuum and say nothing. Tom sighed and went on. "You take that core off line, and a photon grenade could penetrate the hull."   
  
Chakotay looked up sharply. It was nothing he hadn't known already, but he was curious to know how Tom was going to explain his knowledge. "How do you know all this?"   
  
Tom averted his eyes, shook his head with a small laugh. "I've been spending some time with our friend Obrist, who seems more than willing to share information." He pushed off the table and moved around to sit adjacent to his lover, finally having Chakotay's full attention.   
  
 _Oh yeah, Wings...laugh it off...it's nothing, right? It's nothing that you've spent every waking and sleeping god damned moment with him for the last month! He's willing to share information...and his body...and his bed...fuck you, Tom!_  Chakotay stared into Tom's eyes, hiding his pain behind an expression of intense interest.   
  
"And that's not all." Tom leaned forward a little on the table, clasping his hands in front of him. "Does the name 'Captain Bligh' mean anything to you?"   
  
Chakotay nodded slightly. Unable to speak for fear that all of his bitterness, pain and anger would flood out of his mouth if he did so. _You bastard! How can you just sit here and talk as though nothing has happened? How can you push everything we had...all that we were to each other aside so casually...How can you do this Tom!? How can you just....fucking push me aside like that!?_  He stared into Tom's eyes, holding his breath in check and listened, pushing the angry tirade running through his mind to the background.   
  
"This is not a happy crew. They've been at this for two hundred years now. They're tired of it, Chakotay. They want it to end.   
  
"Good work, Tom!" Chakotay swallowed past the suffocating jealous rage in his throat and took a deep breath. "But I'm not quite ready to start a mutiny. Keep gathering information, lie low." He returned his gaze to the PADD in his hands. "I'm starting to make progress on the temporal calculations. With a little time and luck, we might be able to put the Krenim back on their feet and Voyager back to the alpha quadrant. _With time...with time...I can wipe this out. I can erase this agony...I can escape this and you won't betray me...Spirits...I love you Tom…how could you do this to me?_  
  
"You're starting to sound like Annorax! Always one more calculation, this time it's gonna be perfect!" Frustration edged Tom's words. He passed his fingers across his forehead, a tell that his temper was rising.   
  
"This could work! If you'd take time to listen, you'd understand what Annorax is trying to do." Chakotay retorted.   
  
"What? Wipe out civilizations to help his race? I understand perfectly!" Knife edged sarcasm accompanied the words.   
  
"It's more complicated than that!" Chakotay dropped the PADD to the table and stood up, pacing restlessly. Annorax is an enlightened man...misguided, but I think he wants this to end as much as anyone!"   
  
Tom shook his head with a sound of disgust before he countered. "I guess I just don't have the 'instinct for time,' or whatever it is Captain Nimo out there calls it. Chakotay! He's been flattering you and it's gone to your head!"   
  
Chakotay turned to Tom with an icy glare. _And Obrist's been fucking you! and it's gone right to your cock and made you incapable of rational thought!_  He clenched his jaw on the words and ground out: "You're out of line, Lieutenant!"   
  
Tom sighed and averted his eyes _Is this what we've come to? Pulling rank and screaming at each other like a pair of cadets on their first posting?_  He looked into Chakotay's eyes. "Maybe, I shouldn't start a mutiny, but I might be able to get Obrist to help us send a message to Captain Janeway ..."   
  
 _Obrist...always Obrist...what happened to us, Tom? What happened to us working this out together?_ Chakotay shook his head. "Not yet! If you get caught, we lose everything. I can get us out of this." Chakotay insisted, l but he saw Tom's eyes harden and grow cold. His heart twisted within him as he watched the shutters come down, closing him out. _Tom...No..._    
  
"Not if I can get us out of here first!" Tom moved to walk past but Chakotay grabbed his arm, swinging him around.   
  
"You're not doing anything against Annorax! That's an order!"   
  
The two men locked eyes for several seconds. Cold, blue eyes glaring into dark brown. They stood that way for an eternity it seemed, until Tom snorted contemptuously.   
  
"Whaddya going to do? Take away my holodeck privileges?"   
  
Chakotay tightened his grip on Tom's arm. "Either we maintain our chain of command, or we settle our differences the old fashioned way.   
  
Tom stared at him, and Chakotay saw the pain of that night a week ago resurface in his lover's eyes. Pain, and anger and accusation. Chakotay pulled in a slow breath. A few minutes ago he's mentally begged Tom's forgiveness and now he was threatening to solve their issues with violence. Something venomous curled and flickered in the blue depths of Tom's eyes. He parted his lips to speak and Chakotay steeled himself for the kind of hurt only Tom knew how to deal.

A klaxon suddenly blared throughout the ship, making both men look up. Their differences forgotten for the moment, they men moved as one as they headed out of Chakotay's cabin and made their way to the bridge.   
  
"What's happening?" Chakotay demanded as he and Tom walked onto the bridge.   
  
"We're preparing for a temporal incursion." Annorax replied calmly, glancing at Chakotay briefly before turning his attention back to the view screen.   
  
"What incursion? You never said anything about..." Chakotay moved to stand near Annorax's chair, alarm and disbelief plain on his face as he spoke.   
  
"I had an inspiration last night!" Annorax replied. "By my calculations, the eradication of the Romisad Species will result in a fifty-two percent restoration of the Krenim time line."   
  
Tom stood silently gazing around the bridge at the Krenim officers. His eyes met Obrist's for an instant, reading the helpless resignation in them and he frowned, looking from Obrist to Annorax and then back, silently willing Obrist to do something, say something! He saw Obrist's jaw move as the Krenim swallowed. He read the defeat in the man's eyes before he looked down at his control panel and shook his head almost imperceptibly.   
  
"I thought we were working to avoid more destruction!" Chakotay's tone was desperate. He looked at the screen before them, his eyes widening as he took in the view of a densely populated planet.   
  
"When time offers you an opportunity, you don't ignore it." Annorax turned away from Chakotay as Obrist spoke up.   
  
"We're within range of their home world." Obrist hid his true feelings behind a dutiful tone.   
  
"Take us into orbit. Prepare for total erasure."   
  
Tom stared, horror struck as Obrist moved to carry out his commander's orders as calmly as he himself would have followed an order to set course for the Alpha Quadrant. He stifled a sob of frustration, turning his attention away from Obrist and moved to stand next to Chakotay.   
  
"Is this what you call 'enlightened?'" His voice was bitter, filled with disgust and frustration. The only response was a cold, withering glance and Tom turned away, bowing his head. _God! I can't believe I am seeing this...Please oh please someone has to stop it!_ He turned his eyes to the view screen. _Chakotay! You know what it is like to have your entire world wiped out! Please! Please don't let this happen!}_ His blue eyes sought Chakotay but found his lover's back turned to him. He could have wept at the futility.   
  
Obrist's voice cut through his racing thoughts. Inexorable, unflinching. "Targeting the focal point. Locked."   
  
 _No! No...Please!_ Tom stared mutely at Chakotay's back, flexing his hands at his sides and almost cried out with relief when finally, as though in slow motion, Chakotay moved to Annorax's side.   
  
"Please, this isn't necessary! We'll find another way!"   
  
Annorax looked at Chakotay and sighed. Then he glanced at Tom, regarding them both like uneducated children, tolerated only because they knew no better than to question their elders. His eyes met Chakotay's briefly before he spoke. "Fire!   
  
Tom forced himself to watch the screen. To look at the planet, watching the lights that glimmered from cities as a purple beam from the temporal weapon struck.   
  
It was like watching leaves, or some bright spangles dropped by a child, caught in the wind and swept away. In moments, what had been a thriving civilization was gone. The planet remained, but every living soul, every trace of life on it's surface was... erased. Eradicated. Non-existent. Only when the last light winked out, did Tom allow himself to close his eyes. Eyes that burned with unshed tears. He drew a ragged breath. Heard, somewhere, an echo of his sorrow. Chakotay? Obrist? He couldn't tell. It no longer mattered.   
  
"Trace elements?" Annorax's voice, cold. Mechanical.   
  
"Diminishing." Obrist responded. His voice hollow. Flat. Dead.   
  
Dead...   
  
Everyone on this ship was dead. Tom shook his head. _Only Chakotay and I are alive...Only we can still feel the impact of this. Only we hear the howling of a million souls blown away in the wind of some mad man's making_. He choked, nausea gripping his guts. _I've been fooling myself. Idiot, Tom! What have you proved?_  
  
"Counter indications?" The _danse macabre_  of these automatons continued.   
  
"None so far."   
  
Tom turned to Obrist who avoided his eyes.   
  
"Scan the continuum, bring me the results once they're completed." Annorax stood and moved off the command platform I'll be in my chambers.   
  
"Yes sir." Obrist closed his eyes for an instant. The only flicker of feeling Tom had seen.   
  
Choking down the bile that rose in his throat, Tom gave Obrist one final pitying, glance and brushed past him, avoiding eye contact as he approached Chakotay.   
  
"Have you seen enough yet, Chakotay?" He put a hand on Chakotay's arm. Gripping hard, wanting to hurt. To penetrate through to the man's reason. If you don't do something about this maniac, I will!" He ground out before he turned making his way off of the bridge. He almost ran to his cabin where he only just made it to the bathroom before his stomach contracted, spewing what small contents it held into the toilet. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Those who are less familiar with Voyager, if you're reading, may not understand Tom's Flashbacks in this chapter. I suggest you watch season 1 to discover more about why Tom Paris faced court martial and was drummed out of Star Fleet. Or you can read the cliff notes: [here](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Paris#Biography)
> 
> * * *

  
**Day 209**

  
_First Watch_  

  
Tom locked himself away in his cabin after the incursion. He didn't want to see anyone. Didn't want to talk. Couldn't. He'd stumbled to the sofa after he spewed until he thought his stomach would turn itself inside out. Huddled into the corner of the sofa, knees drawn up to his chest, he sat trembling, alternating between tears and ranting. Alone. Alone with his own special brand of insanity. 

Insanity. 

Yes, that was the name for it. It hit him sometimes. Less often since he'd been with Chakotay, but it still came. Bringing with it, deathly, horrific faces and voices from the past. Caroline, Sam, Charlie. His father, his mother … his whole god damned miserable fucking life would come screaming back to haunt him. Now, it came. It came and there was no Chakotay to soothe his terrors. No gentle voice to talk him through it. No warm hands to center him, ground him in reality. Just the fear, the pain. The gut-wrenching fucking horror of reliving it. 

Charlie was screaming. "Tooooooommm!!!" 

Tom closed his eyes and buried his face against the arm of the sofa, unable to face the specters of the past. "Nooooo! Please, please, go away! I'm sorry … Fuck it, Charlie! I'm fucking sorry! I'm sorry you're dead! I'm sorry I lied! Please … please … go away… please…" 

Caroline was crying, a monstrous sound. Like the tearing sobs that a person cries when there is nothing left. Like the sobs that tore from Tom's own throat. He couldn't stand it. The sounds of her suffering. "It shoulda been me, Caro! It shoulda been me! I'm alive … I shoulda died! Caro … forgive me … oh God … I'm such a fucking sneaking coward … How could I leave you lying there dead and then try to cover up my mistake? Don't cry, Caro … I'm so god-damned sorry! Sorry!" 

He scrambled to his feet, frantic eyes staring unseeing around the cabin. Flames erupted around him and he recoiled, screaming. "Help! Help me! God! Help! Fire! Sam! Charlie! Caroline? Fuck! I can't see! I can't see …" 

 

* * *

Chakotay lay on his back on his bed, hands folded behind his head and stared up at the ceiling. 

At his side, Astemus stirred a little in his sleep, turning away from Chakotay with a small sound of contentment. Chakotay glanced at him and smiled softly. The Krenim officer had become his lover a few days after they met in the mess hall. He was a willing partner, undemanding. He served Chakotay well and made no claims on the Commander. Chakotay was glad. The last thing he needed right now was more complications. 

Chakotay allowed his thoughts to turn to Tom. 

He'd gone to Tom's cabin after confronting Annorax about the incursion. Ringing the chimes repeatedly, he had received no answer. Not so easily deterred, he resorted to pounding on the door with his fist which eventually resulted in Tom's calling out: "Please, go away." 

Chakotay sighed. He knew Tom needed him. But if the pilot wouldn't acknowledge it, what was he supposed to do? 

_You're right, Tom. Annorax is a maniac … I realize it now. Gods, Tom … How are we going to get out of this? I need you. I need to talk to you … Why are you shutting me out?_

He closed his eyes, wishing sleep would come to him as easily as it did for Astemus. He wondered what Tom was doing, if he was sleeping. Drawing a deep breath, he let it go on an exasperated sigh and turned on his side. _I need to sleep … This is getting me no where_. 

 

* * *

Torin walked along the hallway outside the cabin allotted to Tom Paris. He was on watch, and he made his patrol even though he didn't expect any trouble. The humans had both behaved very well since being released from their solitary cells. The Krenim had no spirit left anymore to cause trouble. He sighed, walking slowly, lost in his own thoughts. 

Suddenly, a piercing scream rent the air. Torin froze in his tracks. 

"Help!" The voice screamed again. Torin's blood ran cold. He stared at the door to Tom Paris's cabin. 

"Fuck! Someone please … Help meeeee!" 

Torin gulped and took a step closer to the door. He feared what he might see, but he was the officer on watch and it was his duty to investigate anything unusual. He pressed the door chime and when the only response was more desperate screaming, he entered an override code and stepped into the room as the door slid open. 

Torin stopped just inside the door, frozen by the instinctual fear of madness. He stared. Tom Paris stood near the sofa. Wide, unseeing eyes seemed to look right through Torin as Paris screamed about fire. The Krenim officer glanced around uneasily. There was no fire. 

Backing away, Torin kept his eyes on Paris as he edged his way towards the door and stepped out, reaching for the access controls to close it behind him. He paused for a moment wondering what he should do. Finally reaching a decision, he moved across the hallway and activated a communication terminal. 

"Torin to Obrist. Sir, there is a problem." 

The sound of the door chimes roused Chakotay from a restless sleep. Sitting up after a moment, he reached for his trousers and slipped them on as he stood up. 

Rubbing a hand through tousled hair, he made his way to the door and opened it to find Obrist standing in the hallway. 

"Obrist?" He frowned slightly, looking into the dark eyes of the Krenim first officer. 

Chakotay had not been amongst the Krenim for long, but he recognized the worry etched on Obrist's face. "What's wrong?" He paused, then answered his own question. "Tom!" 

"Please come. We cannot control him." Obrist said.

 

Chakotay nodded. Pausing only long enough to close and seal his cabin door, he hurried along the hallway with the first officer. 

"Help me!" Chakotay heard the screams even before they reached Tom's cabin. "Fire! Oh, God! I can't see! Charlie!!? Sam! …" 

Chakotay cursed and took off running. 

"Tom!" He skidded to a halt in front of the young pilot and put his hands on Tom's shoulders. "Tom! I'm here! Don't be afraid … I'm here!" _Oh spirits, Tom, don't do this to yourself!_  

Tom screamed, lashing out at Chakotay, swinging wildly trying to shake off his grip. "No! No please! Please … I'm sorry! I'm sorry… pleease!" 

"Tom!" Chakotay shook him gently, trying to reach through the terror that showed plainly in his eyes. "Tom … it's me, Chakotay… Come on. It's all right It's over. Shhhh … I'm here!" 

"Shall I fetch the medic?" Obrist stepped forward and Chakotay looked over his shoulder. 

"No! No doctors, no drugs … He hates that. Just … get out! Leave me alone with him!" 

Tom continued to struggle as  Obrist nodded silently and left the room, closing the door. 

Chakotay turned to the young pilot, staring into terror-filled blue eyes. 

 

"Tom … I'm never going to hurt you again. I swear to you. Just … come back. I love you. I'm sorry. Please, Tom. Please …" He pulled the struggling man into his arms and crushed him against his chest. "Shhh …I'm here now. You're going to be all right." 

  
Tom shuddered, but some part of his mind had caught the softly spoken avowal 'I love you.' He stilled, recognizing the gentle hands, the quiet, calm voice. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, inhaling the warm, spicy scent he knew so well. "Chakotay …" He whispered hoarsely. 

"Yes. I'm here. I'm here. It's all right now." Chakotay pulled him closer, his arms tightening around the slim body of his lover as he closed his eyes and let the tears he'd held back till now seep out from under his eyelids. 

"Chakotay …" Tom's voice was hoarse from screaming. He buried his face against the commander's chest and wept helplessly. "Chakotay … Chakotay …They came back …" 

"I know … Shhh, it's over now. It's over. You're going to be all right." He stroked Tom's back and shoulders as he whispered reassurances to him. Holding him as though he would never let go. 

Tom finally relaxed, snuggling into the warm, strong embrace of his lover. "So tired …" He whispered. These episodes always left him physically drained. As drained and weak as he'd been the day it first happened. 

Chakotay nodded and without speaking, lifted Tom in his arms and carried him to his bedroom where he gently laid him down on the bed. "Rest." He smiled as the young pilot's eyes immediately locked onto his own and a slim, fine boned hand gripped his with surprising strength. "I won't leave you. I'll stay. It's all right." 

Tom relaxed, settling back against the pillows as his eyelids began to droop almost immediately. "Chakotay?" The name was whispered uncertainly. 

"Yes, Tom?" He watched the expressive blue eyes carefully, reading conflicting emotions that flickered in them. 

"Thank you … for coming, I … I didn't think you would want to be with …" 

Chakotay shook his head and put a finger over Tom's lips. "Shhh! Rest. You needed me and I am here." He stroked Tom's forehead, smoothing away the frown that had settled there. "We'll talk when you're rested. OK?" 

Tom nodded and sighed softly, letting his eyelids fall over still haunted blue eyes. Within moments, he was sleeping. 

After Tom had fallen asleep, Chakotay gently extricated his hand from the young man's fingers and walked into the other room. Taking one of the chairs from the dining area, he carried it back into Tom's bedroom and set it beside the bed. Tom slept deeply as he usually did after these flashbacks.

 

Chakotay leaned his elbows on his thighs put his head in his hands. _Spirits! What a mess we're in here._

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Day 209**  
  
 _Third Watch_  
  
  
  
When Tom awoke some time later, he was completely lucid. Gone was the frantic sense of fear and dizziness that had assailed him during the flashback. He blinked his eyes open and gazed at the ceiling for a few moments. Flooded with a peculiar sense of peace, he rolled over on his side.   
  
"Chakotay?" Tom raised himself on one elbow and stared at the Commander.   
  
Chakotay reclined in a chair next to the bed, the back of it tipped to lean against the wall. His arms were folded across his chest and black eyelashes brushed against his cheeks. His mouth was slightly open. Feet propped on the bedside stand, the commander was sound asleep.   
  
Tom watched him for a few moments, then slowly got out of bed. He crept to Chakotay's side and carefully straddled the big man, taking care not to cause the chair to fall forward. He settled lightly across Chakotay's lap and placed his hands on the muscular shoulders. Tom leaned forward and brushed his lips across Chakotay's mouth.   
  
"Hmph?" Chakotay woke with a start, aware of a weight in his lap and soft lips on his mouth at the same time. He blinked a few times and his hands came to rest on the hips of the man in his lap. Before he could awaken properly or respond to the gentle kiss, the warm lips had moved to his throat, making a trail across his skin to his earlobe, which was taken into a hot mouth and teased by a flickering tongue.   
  
Chakotay groaned, knowing that maneuver from months past. "Tom!" he whispered, slipping his arms around the pilot and nuzzling against Tom's neck in reciprocation.   
  
"Mmm-Hmm!" Tom's voice, a seductive purr as he continued sucking on Chakotay's earlobe, breaking off for a moment to whisper with hot breath into his lover's ear. "You like it... don't you? It reminds you of when I suck something else... hmm?" He sucked again, swirling his tongue across the small nub of flesh.   
  
Chakotay groaned, gripping Tom's hips and pulling him harder into his groin, grinding his hips a little to let Tom feel his need. "Gods! Tom! I need you!"   
  
"I know... It's been a long time... I know how much you need it... How much you miss me." Tom untied the sash of Chakotay's jacket and pushed the fabric aside to bare his chest. He kissed his way down Chakotay's throat, to nuzzle at his collarbone. Shifting position slightly as Chakotay brought his feet to the floor and tipped the chair to all fours. Tom made his way maddeningly slowly down to take one of Chakotay's nipples into his mouth, sucking and teasing it to hardness.  
  
"You're such a slut... " Chakotay purred, making the words sweet rather than insulting.   
  
"And you know you love it!" Tom replied equally as sultry. He nipped sharply at Chakotay's nipple and chuckled at the back arching, moaning respose.   
  
Growling, Chakotay pushed Tom off his lap. "Get on the bed," he rasped.   
  
Tom did as he was told, moving quickly and began to remove his pants watching the Chakotay's eyes. He saw the flicker of passion and desire those dark depths and his heart soared. He slipped his shorts off and tossed them aside, watching as Chakotay dropped the trousers he wore onto the floor, then joined him on the bed.   
  
Chakotay drew Tom into his arms, kissing him deeply, his tongue probing and tasting Tom's sweet mouth as he crushed the younger man in a passionate embrace.   
  
Tom groaned, his head reeling with delightful sensations of being deeply kissed and held so tightly by his lover. He smiled into the kiss and snuggled as close as he could to the commander, pressing the length of his body along Chakotay's and rubbing his cock against Chakotay's erection, eliciting a groan and a shudder in response.   
  
"Cha... please... now!"   
  
"You are so impatient!" Chakotay growled and nipped Tom's tender skin just where neck and shoulder met, producing a pained yowl, edged with desire.   
  
"Owww-aaahhmmm! Do that again, big man!"   
  
Chakotay didn't need telling twice. He seized Tom's flesh between his teeth, biting and sucking, marking Tom with his own special stamp of possession.   
  
Tom closed his eyes, arching his back, as his entire body seemed to catch fire. A sweet, intoxicating fire that coursed through his veins. Passion, desire and a desperate aching need ran throughout his frame and he whimpered, stretching like a sleepy cat under his handsome lover's body. "Chaaaa... "   
  
Chakotay's only response was a deep, passionate growl as he continued to make his way across Tom's shoulder, then blazing a trail of passionate little kisses down over his chest, he teased each nipple in turn with his warm, wet tongue before moving lower. He trailed his lips and tongue across Tom's flat belly. Chakotay swirled his tongue into the young pilot's navel, then followed the line of soft downy hair downwards, nipping, licking and kissing as he went.   
  
"Oohhh gods..." Tom groaned, his hips lifting off the bed as those gently teasing lips moved ever closer to his aching cock. He moaned and whimpered, then cried out petulantly as Chakotay avoided the throbbing member and skirted his way around it, moving to nibble and lick at Tom's left thigh. "Chakotaaaay!"   
  
Chakotay laughed softly, closing his eyes and thoroughly enjoying himself as he teased his lover mercilessly.   
  
Tom moaned, clenching his hands into fists, grabbing handfuls of the sheets under him as Chakotay ran his tongue down his leg. When Chakotay took Tom's toe into his mouth and sucked on it, Tom very nearly threw himself off the bed. "My god! I never thought that could... f... feel so goood!"   
  
The only response from his lover was a low, rumbling growl as the hot mouth clamped on Tom's toe and he sucked harder, breaking off after a few moments to kiss the sole of first his left foot, then the right.   
  
"I love you, Tom!" The words were spoken so softly that Tom had to strain to hear but he understood and a small sound of pure joy broke from his lips as he replied.   
  
"I love you, Chakotay!" He paused a moment and then he said softly, "And I'm sorry for..." He never got to finish the thought. Chakotay moved swiftly, coming up along Tom's body until they were face to face and placing his hands either side of Tom's head, clasping his cheeks as he made eye contact.   
  
"Not now, Tom." His dark eyes pleaded with Tom. "Not now. This is just us... ok?"   
  
Tom stared into the dark, intense eyes of his lover and nodded slightly. "OK. Just us... "   
  
Chakotay sighed then pressed his mouth to Tom's in a searing, passionate kiss that seemed like it would last forever. After a while, he broke it off and nudged Tom's shoulder. "Roll over, Wings."   
  
Tom complied, flipping to his belly with a small shudder of anticipation as Chakotay reached across his body to open a drawer beside the bed, searching in it for a moment until he located the small tube of lubricant he sought.   
  
Removing the cap from the tube, Chakotay knelt beside Tom and smeared lubricant on his finger. Watching the young pilot's face closely, he began to rub the puckered skin around the entrance to Tom's body sensually. He ran his finger back and forth across the area, watching the expression of rapture that slowly formed on his lover's face.   
  
Changing the angle suddenly, Chakotay slipped his finger into Tom's ass and chuckled when the pilot tensed, half lifting his shoulders off the bed, moaning with pleasure. "Tell me what you want, Wings... " He whispered hoarsely, driving his finger deeper into the younger man's body as he spoke.   
  
"I... aiii! uhhh! I w-want you to... oh, gods! I want... "   
  
"What's the matter, Lieutenant? Can't you follow a simple order?" Chakotay laughed wickedly and asked again. "What do you want?" As he spoke he slipped a second finger into Tom's anus and listened to the helpless, whimpering response. "You want me to... ?" He left the question hanging as he began to slowly work his fingers in and out of Tom's wildly shivering body. "What?" He thrust a little harder "You want me to fuck you, Baby?"   
  
"Oh g-gods yes! Yes, Chakotay!" Tom was almost incoherent with wanting. "Fuck me! Please!" He bucked as Chakotay ran a fingertip across his prostate." PLEASE!"   
  
"Please...?" Chakotay let the word hover.   
  
"Please... sir!" Tom groaned. His cock twitched and he writhed under Chakotay's touch, knowing that he was not going to be able to hold back much longer. "Fuck me, sir! Please."   
  
"Is this exciting you, Lieutenant?" Chakotay grinned devilishly as he continued to tease Tom's body.   
  
"Yes! Oh gods, yes!"   
  
"Enough to make you come?"   
  
"Uh... uhmm... Yes." Tom's voice was increasingly strained as he fought to control his response to Chakotay's touch.   
  
"Lieutenant," Chakotay's voice dropped low with a growl of authority. "You're not going to even think of coming unless I grant permission, are you?"   
  
"Sir... " Tom moaned softly, "I... I d-don't think I can... Please, sir. Permission to come?" The blue eyes shot Chakotay an appealing, sidelong glance as Tom positively squirmed with the effort to hold back.   
  
"Permission denied!" Chakotay's eyes gleamed wickedly and he suppressed a grin at the strained expression on Tom's face.   
  
"Chakotay!"   
  
The Commander laughed at his young lover's protest and withdrew his fingers from Tom's body, moving to kneel between Tom's spread thighs. Picking up the lubricant, he oiled his cock.   
  
Tom cried out as Chakotay entered him with a single thrust that seated his cock deeply within his body. He tensed, gripping the sheets and closed his eyes, gasping for breath at the sudden filling. He moaned with pleasure as Chakotay began to fuck him.   
  
Chakotay groaned, deep in his throat, staring down at where his body joined to Tom's He thrust hard and fast, pounding the younger man's body mercilessly, filling him with his aching need and gritting his teeth as he felt his fulfillment approaching. "Tom! Spirits, you're so beautiful! I need you, baby!" He grunted, thrusting harder as Tom responded by squirming under him, whispering incoherently in reply. He pulled back as far as he could, almost withdrawing before slamming himself deep into the pilot's wildly bucking ass.   
  
"Sir... " Tom gasped. "P-please, sir! I c-can't... "   
  
"Spirits! Sorry!" Chakotay panted, realizing he still had not given Tom the permission he so desperately craved. "Granted, Lieutenant!" He ground out in the nick of time as he felt the tight muscles around his cock contract, clamping down on him, milking his cock as Tom climaxed. Chakotay threw his head back with a shout as he drove himself deep into the younger man's body and stopped, spilling his need into his lover's body with a shudder that rocked both of them to the core.   
  
Tom could do little more than gasp and shudder as his orgasm rippled through him. He moaned, a long, tremulous sound as he felt Chakotay release in him, his partner's tremors setting off another series of orgasmic shudders. He whimpered, turning his head in an attempt to nuzzle Chakotay when he fell forward, kissing his ear, his cheek, the back of his neck. "I love you, Cha... " He whispered. "I love you... "   
  
Chakotay sighed with pleasure rolling off Tom to lie on his side and drawing the pilot along with him so that they lay 'spooned' together, Chakotay's body wrapped around Tom's in a tender embrace.   
  
Nuzzling gently at Tom's neck, Chakotay listened to the younger man's ragged breathing. He smiled, licking perspiration from the pilot's skin and chuckling as Tom wriggled and moaned softly.   
  
After a few moments, Tom turned over, facing his lover and gazed into sleepy, dark eyes. "We need to talk, Chakotay," he said.   
  
"Yes." Chakotay nodded and stroked Tom's cheek with a fingertip. He drew a deep breath and was about to speak when Tom stopped him.   
  
"No, me first." Tom swallowed hard and closed his eyes for a moment, then looked at Chakotay again. I'm sorry, Chakotay. I'm sorry that I pushed you out and for this whole thing with Obrist. I didn't intend to hurt you." He sighed, turning onto his back. "I guess, at first it seemed a good idea, a good way to get information. It's not like I haven't done such a thing before... " Tom trailed off for a moment. "But that doesn't excuse it. I wouldn't blame you if you hated me. How stupid am I? I risked losing you, losing this relationship for information I could probably have got some other way... " He turned to look at the big man again. "I'm sorry. I was wrong and I have behaved like a total asshole."   
  
Chakotay shook his head and put a finger on Tom's lips. "We've both made mistakes, Tom. I should have realized long before now that Annorax is unbalanced." He sighed. "I went to see him after the incursion. He told me that 'Time is punishing him'! That time has feelings and emotions, that time has the power to grant or deny him what is rightfully his." Chakotay frowned.   
  
Tom sighed and shook his head. "I'm sorry, Cha. I know you had a lot of hope pinned on us getting back home with his help." He drew a deep breath. "So what now, big guy? We still have to get out of this... " His lips quirked slightly. "As Harry would say... 'It's regulations.' Gods, I miss him! Did you know that he can quote the Starfleet officer's regulations manual chapter, paragraph and sub paragraph?" Tom's blue eyes suddenly misted with tears. "I wanna go home, Cha!"   
  
"Me too, Tom." Chakotay pulled Tom into his arms and nuzzled his hair. "We'll get out of this. I promise you." He closed his eyes. _If I die trying, I will get you out of this!_  
  



	14. Chapter 14

**Day 210**  
  
  
  
Tom stood by the view port, gazing out at the endless stars of space. Leaning closer, he let his breath fog the transparent metal of the window. His mind strayed again to Voyager. _I wonder what Har' is doing...How the ship is holding up...How the repairs are progressing._ Lifting a finger, he idly traced a Star Fleet insignia in the misted area, then wiped it away.   
  
Chakotay had left an hour ago to talk with Annorax, keeping up the pretense of going along with the Krenim's plan to get both Voyager and the weapon ship back to their own times and places.   
  
Tom was bored. There was nothing to do on this ship. He thought of Obrist for a moment, then shook his head. Since the incursion, he'd not been near the first officer and Obrist hadn't troubled to seek him out either.   
  
Turning away from the view port, he moved to the table and sat down, picking up the PADD he'd been reading from. History was always a solace. Even Krenim history. He located the cursor that told him where he'd left off and began to read.   
  
Tom didn't know how long he'd been reading for when the doors slid open and a young Krenim officer entered the room. He looked up with a polite smile as the young man came to a stop, staring at him in obvious confusion. "Can I help you, Private...?" Tom's tone was light, the kind of courteous disinterest reserved for messengers. He assumed the officer was here to give him some message from Chakotay.   
  
"What are you doing here?" The Krenim blurted. He paused to collect himself. "Pardon me, Sir. I am looking for Commander Chakotay."   
  
"Oh. He's with Annorax, I think. Is there anything I could help you with?"   
  
"No!" The man took a backward step. "No, thank you, sir. I needed to see Cha... Commander Chakotay. It is not important. I'll wait and see him later."   
  
"Fine." Tom smiled and returned his attention to the PADD then looked up again. "What's your name? I'll let Chakotay know you were looking for him."   
  
"Astemus, sir. My name is Astemus."   
  
"OK... Astemus. I'll be sure and let Chakotay know." Tom watched as the young officer beat a hasty retreat and shook his head slightly. "Two hundred years out here, you'd think the guy would have learned to relax by now," he muttered, returning to his reading.   
  
A moment later, the doors slid open again. Tom spoke without looking up, "Did you decide to leave a message after all?"   
  
When there was no response, he glanced up and found the dark eyes of his lover resting on him.   
  
"'Tay!" He stood, leaving the PADD on the table, He embraced Chakotay and kissed his cheek.   
  
"Hi, Wings." Chakotay slipped his arms around Tom and pulled him close, nuzzling his fair hair. "What was that about a message?"   
  
"Oh, someone was here looking for you... Aster... no that's not right..." He paused a moment in thought, "Artemis."   
  
"Astemus?" Chakotay supplied.   
  
"That's it..." Tom grinned, "You know I am hopeless with names."   
  
"Did he say what he wanted?" Chakotay let Tom go and went to the cooler. "What have we got to eat? I'm starved!"   
  
"He didn't say. He seemed a little surprised to see me here."   
  
"Why should he be?" Chakotay cast Tom a glance over his shoulder.  
  
"Search me." Tom shrugged it off. "I guess it is no secret you and I were not on the friendliest terms lately..."   
  
"I guess that is it." Chakotay took a dish containing the remains of their breakfast from the cooler. Fruit with the Krenim equivalent of whipped cream. "Do you want some of this?"   
  
"No, thanks." Tom frowned. "I can't eat anything here without wondering which race I'm devouring the 'last remains' of." Tom sat at the table and waited for Chakotay to join him. "How did things go with Annorax?"   
  
Chakotay sighed, taking a seat and spooning some fruit into his mouth, chewing on it thoughtfully. "Not well. He still refuses to see reason." Chakotay set his spoon down. "Tom..."   
  
Folding his hands together on the tabletop, Tom leaned forward, noting the seriousness of Chakotay's tone. "What is it?"   
  
"I want you to go and see Obrist." Chakotay looked into Tom's eyes and held up his hand for silence when Tom began to speak. "I know you don't want to. I know this is a big thing to ask after all that has happened, but I need you to get him to cooperate with us. It's the only way we're going to get out of this."   
  
Tom bowed his head, avoiding Chakotay's eyes and pursed his lips in a classic 'Paris shut down' expression.   
  
"Tom..." Chakotay's voice was gently insistent.   
  
"I can't... I mean what if he wants me to..." Tom kept his eyes averted, unable to explain his feelings. It was one thing to decide to sleep with Obrist of his own volition. Quite another to be *asked* to by his lover. He sighed and closed his eyes.   
  
"I know what I am asking of you, Tom. Please believe I _wouldn't_  ask it if there were any other way."   
  
Tom sighed, meeting Chakotay's gaze. "All right." He swallowed hard.   
  
"I love you, Tom." Chakotay gripped Tom's hand in his. "I know this wont be easy, but it's the only way. We have to do whatever it takes to get back to Voyager."   
  
Tom stood up. "I'll go now. Might as well get it over with." Turning away from his lover, he walked out the door without a backward glance. 


	15. Chapter 15

**Day 210**  
  
  
  
Tom stepped into Obrist's quarters. He turned and looked into Obrist's eyes. Folding his arms across his chest. An action that was defensive and arrogant at the same time, he spoke softly. "Hello."   
  
"What are you doing here, Paris?" Obrist avoided Tom's eyes. "I thought after the incursion, it was over between us?"   
  
"I never said that."   
  
"You never said otherwise."   
  
"Neither did you." Tom dropped the defensive posture. "You haven't come looking for me."   
  
"I've been working."   
  
"Looking for more 'unnecessary races' to destroy in this damned futile quest of yours to get home?"   
  
"If that is what you choose to think." Obrist's shoulders stiffened.  
  
"Well, dammit, Obrist! What would you expect me to think?" Tom's control broke. "You make an awful lot of noise about wanting all this to end, and then, when you have the chance to end it, what do you do?" He swung away from the Major. "I don't understand! Chakotay and I were there. We would have helped!"   
  
"No. You _don't_ understand!" Obrist shouted, turning to face Tom. "You see it all so cut and dried. It is so simple to you! No-one on board this vessel really means anything to you therefore it is easy for you to see the way out!" He approached Tom and grabbed his shoulders.   
  
"These people are my friends! They are the only surviving members of my entire race! To help you and Chakotay getting out of here entails KILLING my friends!" He shook Tom, hard, relentlessly. "Open your eyes, Paris! Can't you see how difficult this is for me?"   
  
 _Killing my friends!_ The words cut Tom like a hot knife cutting butter. He understood only too well, what it felt like to kill one's friends. He stared in silence into Obrist's dark, pain filled eyes.   
  
Obrist gave Tom one last, small shake then released him and turned away.   
  
"No-one is asking you to kill anyone. Chakotay is looking for a way to do this without harming anyone else...I..."   
  
"Seriously!" Obrist's voice was cold and brittle. "Do you really believe your captain would stop short of destroying this vessel and everyone on it, to get you back? To get out of this temporal mess?"   
  
"I do! Captain Janeway doesn't want to destroy you! None of us do! We just want to go home, the same as Annorax does! We didn't ask to be out here...and we sure as hell don't expect the Krenim to pay our way back!"   
  
"But we will, Paris! Getting home is as important to your captain as it is to Annorax...ultimately, someone always pays for such mania!"   
  
Tom pushed a hand through his hair. He didn't like to admit it, but Obrist's words had a ring of conviction that almost convinced him. He bit his lip, thinking about Annorax's obsession with getting back to his home planet. Wasn't Captain Janeway just as determined? Hadn't Tom himself watched her over the past few years and months, plotting new ways, new plans, new possibilities. She did seem fixated sometimes.   
  
Tom shook his head. "No. Captain Janeway would never deliberately harm someone else. I know her well enough to know that. She wants to get home, but not to that extent."   
  
Obrist made a bitter sound in his throat. "Yet," he said. "She's not that obsessed, yet, Tom Paris. Even you can't predict the future. You do not know whether she might become so."   
  


* * *

  
  
Chakotay lay in the steaming water of the bath tub. He held a towel in one hand which he used occasionally, to wipe perspiration from his neck and forehead.   
  
While he admitted that sweating had some role in removing impurities from the blood. For him, this ritual was not the least bit religious or health conscious. It was pleasure, pure and simple.   
  
On Voyager, the Commander had a sauna holoprogram, but the Krenim ship lacked holographic technology. He sighed, relaxing in the overly heated water. It helped him to think, and thinking was something he needed to do now. Lifting the towel to catch a droplet of sweat that rolled down his right cheek, he was surprised as a gentle hand took the towel and wiped the droplets away for him. He smiled.  
  
"You're back sooner than I expected. Did it go badly?"   
  
"Sir?" A soft voice replied.   
  
Chakotay sat up quickly, his dark eyes flying open. "Astemus!"   
  
"Yes, sir." Astemus tipped his head to one side, regarding Chakotay quietly. "Is something wrong?"   
  
"No...Yes...I... Hand me that towel." He took the towel and draped it around his hips as he stepped out of the bath tub. "Astemus...what are you doing here?"   
  
"I am here because you asked me to come, sir." Something flickered in the depths of the Krenim's eyes. Something not altogether pleasant.   
  
Chakotay shook his head. "I honestly don't believe you're that naive, Astemus. You know that Lieutenant Paris and I..."   
  
"I know he has been here, Chakotay. I did not know that meant I was not to come. You didn't say so."   
  
"Astemus..." Chakotay pressed the palm of one hand to his forehead. "Tom can't see you here. He doesn't know about...you and I."   
  
"You did not tell him?" Astemus smirked. "He made no secret of _his_ affair from _you_ , did he?"   
  
"That is not the point. I intend for Tom to know what happened between us. But I would rather he did not find out by seeing us together...like this."   
  
"So...it's over. You were just using me."   
  
"I never made you any promises, Astemus. You didn't expect me to, did you?"   
  
"No...but..."   
  
Chakotay moved to stand in front the man. "Astemus...please. I didn't intend to hurt you. I made it plain from the beginning how things would be with us. I have not gone back on that. I love Tom, just as you love Obrist. We both knew from the beginning, this was..."   
  
"But...I didn't know, then...that I would come to need you so much." Astemus looked into Chakotay's eyes, his own dark ones pleading. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it to happen. I just...I..."   
  
"No, Astemus...it can't happen...I'm sorry." Chakotay gently caressed the young man's cheek, noting the naked desire and hurt in his eyes and his heart twisted painfully. _Spirits, I wouldn't have hurt him like this for anything..._  
  
Closing his eyes, Astemus nodded. "You're right. I'm behaving like a fool. Forgive me."   
  
Suddenly, Chakotay tensed, looking towards the door. He could have sworn he heard the outer door to his cabin slide open. _Tom? oh please...no..._    
  
"Chakotay?" Tom's voice came from the living room. "Cha? Are you here?"   
  
Tom's footsteps crossed to the bedroom and Chaotay knew, any moment, Tom would walk into the bathroom. He turned to Astemus and opened his mouth to speak. Before he could say anything, the young officer launched himself against his chest, and pressed his lips to Chakotay's in a searing, desperate kiss. 

* * *

  
Tom stopped dead in his tracks as the bathroom door slid open. His heart missed at beat at the scene that met his eyes.  
  
Chakotay, dripping wet, a soft towel draped around his waist. The young Krenim who had come to the cabin earlier that day, pressed against the Commander. Chakotay's hands on the man's body. Lips locked together in a kiss that obviously made them both breathless.   
  
Staring in disbelief and shock, speechless. Tom's lungs felt as though they would burst. He realized, suddenly, that he'd been holding his breath. Letting it go with a rush, he gasped, his knees buckling slightly.   
  
Chakotay pushed Astemus away, glaring at him for an instant before he turned to the door. Tom stood there, leaning on the doorframe, his face pale and strained. "Leave!" Chakotay said. Not taking his eyes from Tom's face.   
  
Astemus headed for the door, but Tom moved to block his path.   
  
"No. Stay. Please, don't let me interrupt." The mask fell into place and Tom smiled sardonically at Chakotay. "You should have warned me you were expecting company. I would have gone to my own cabin, Sir." He took a deep breath. "I'll...make my report later, Commander, when you're not so...busy." He turned on his heel, headed for the door. The pain could be dealt with later. For now, he just had to get away. Away from the gloating eyes of the Krenim officer. Away from the explanations Chakotay was already trying to make.   
  
 _Not what I think, huh? What the fuck is it then? Fucking dancing lessons?_  He increased his pace, closing Chakotay's voice out of his mind.   
  
Out of Chakotay's cabin and along the hallway. Somehow, he made it without staggering or blundering into the wall. Somehow, he managed to see past the tears blinding his vision. In through his own door. Touched the panel to lock it. Staggered to the sofa, fell onto it, staring, gasping for breath, feeling as though all of the oxygen had been sucked out of the atmosphere.  
  
 _Not what I think...not what I think? I'm not supposed to think it means anything? It's only a fuck? It's only...._ He sobbed for breath. _It's only tit for tat...right? It's only Chakotay getting his own back on me for Obrist...It's only my lover sending me to hawk my ass for information while he FUCKS another man behind my back!_    
  
Tom closed his eyes and passed the back of one hand weakly across his lips. He deliberately ignored the frantic pounding of fists on his door. Leaning forward, he folded his arms across his belly. Tears edged their way past his closed eyelids, splashing onto his knees as he wept, silent, wracking sobs that shook his entire body.


	16. Chapter 16

**Day 212**  
  
  
Chakotay paced the floor of his cabin. It was two days since Tom had come upon him and Astemus in what could only be described as a compromising situation. He'd been to Tom's cabin several times in that period and met with cold rebuffs.   
  
Tom had closed himself away in his quarters and blocked all calls. Short of having the door forcibly opened by the Krenim security department, there was no way of reaching his lover.   
  
"Dammit!" Chakotay stopped in the center of the room. "If I could just talk to him... explain to him. Surely he would see that this was an attempt by Astemus to drive us apart!" he resumed pacing, brushing a hand through his dark hair in exasperation. {{Please, Tom .. at least give me a chance to explain... }} Taking a deep breath, he squared his shoulders and walked out of his cabin.   
  


* * *

  
In his cabin, Tom Paris lay sprawled on the bed in a drunken stupor. His appearance was a long way short of regulation. Face unshaven, hair unkempt and clothing in a rumpled, slept in mess.   
  
Tom convinced himself that his own actions had prompted Chakotay to turn to another. After all, God's knew Chakotay was a passionate, red blooded man. Of course he was going to seek relief with someone else if Tom wasn't around. But, that was where the problem lay.   
  
Tom might be a run around, some even called him a whore, but there was one thing even he had more dignity than to do, and that was to share a lover.   
  
He valued himself highly enough that he placed himself above sharing his lovers with anyone else. Neither did he return to a lover who had slept with someone else while in a relationship with Tom.   
  
But this was Chakotay. The one man Tom thought he could have spent a long time with. Maybe he could have lived the rest of his life with Chakotay. Except, he had to go and get this harebrained idea and screw everything up.  
  
The sound of door chimes roused him from his half-stupor.   
  
Rolling his head to the side, he winced, opening his eyes to glare at the door. It took some time to get his mind to work, and figure out exactly where he was.   
  
Scowling, he sat up, rubbing a hand through his tousled hair. "Why can't he just take a hint and leave me alone?" Tom stumbled to this feet and made his way unsteadily out of the bedroom.   
  
The door chimes sounded again and he quickened his pace, "All right! Gimme a moment, would ya?"   
  
Tom touched the control pad and the door slid open. "Why can't you just leave me alone, Chakotay?" He wanted it to sound arrogant, cold, but the practiced mask of indifference failed him for the first time in years. He sounded wounded and small. Tom shook his head, wincing again and sagged against the door frame.   
  
"We need to talk, Tom." Chakotay's eyes raked over him. "You're drunk, you stink, and you look like shit."  
  
"Are you done?" Tom reached for the control pad but was too slow. Chakotay stepped into the room and none too gently pushed Tom backwards, away from the door.   
  
"I have something to say! and so help me, you're going to listen. After that, if you still want to be pig headed, fine! But you're not going to dump me without hearing me out first!"   
  
Tom stumbled a few paces, only just managing to stay on his feet and Chakotay realized the man must be drunker than he looked. He shook his head.   
  
"I thought by now you would have learned that alcohol solves nothing."   
  
"Fuck you! What would you care? It makes me feel good."   
  
"Somehow, I doubt that." Chakotay let his eyes travel slowly over Tom's scruffy appearance.   
  
Tom turned away with a shrug, hating the knowing look in Chakotay's eyes. He moved to the sofa and sat down."Well, you might as well say what you came to say and get it over with."   
  
Chakotay sighed. Taking a seat opposite to Tom, he leaned forward, elbows on his knees and hands clasped in front of him. "Listen to me, Tom. We need to discuss this. I am not just going to sit here and talk _at_  you. I want to talk _with_  you."   
  
Tom met Chakotay's eyes. "I don't see any need to discuss it, Chakotay. You sent me to Obrist so you could get it off with Artemus or whatever his name is. I'm only sorry I came back too soon and spoiled the moment."   
  
"Shut up, Tom! You don't know what you're talking about! Let me ask you something."   
  
"All right." Tom leaned back, shields going up as his arms slipped into their habitual folded position. Eyes veiled, expression cold, he waited for Chakotay to go on.   
  
"What did you see, Tom?"   
  
"I saw enough." Tom frowned, averting his eyes and let his breath out on an impatient sigh. "What's the point of all this?"   
  
"You didn't answer my question. I asked you to tell me what you saw," Chakotay pressed.   
  
"I saw you kissing that Krenim officer in your bathroom."   
  
"Tom, describe what you saw!" Impatience edged Chakotay's measured tones now. "Tell me the way you would tell someone who wasn't there."   
  
Tom stood up. "I still don't see what the point is, but all right." He went to the cooler and took out a bottle of water, downing half the contents.   
  
"I walked into your bathroom and saw you there with Astemus... you were wearing a towel around your hips. You were wet, looked like you just got out of the bath." He turned to the view port. "He had his arms around your neck and you were kissing him." His voice became subdued, as though speaking was an effort. "You're hands were... were on his hips... " _just the way they have rested on mine so many times..._ "I... "   
  
Chakotay got to his feet and put a gentle hand on Tom's shoulder.   
  
"Don't touch me!" Tom rounded on him, his voice rough with emotion as he struck Chakotay's hand away. "Don't fucking touch me!" His blue eyes blazed with rage.   
  
"Tom... " Chakotay let his hand fall to his side. "I'm... sorry."   
  
"Not as sorry as I am!" Tom shoved Chakotay out of his way and moved restlessly back to the sofa , stopping beside it. "I was a fool to trust you!" he spat the words, wanting to hurt. "I thought maybe you were different... maybe you and I had a chance... " he trailed off. "Oh fuck it!" With his back to Chakotay he dashed the tears from his face impatiently. "I shoulda known I was only dreaming!"   
  
"Tom!" Chakotay crossed the room in three strides and grabbed Tom's shoulders, spinning him around. "Listen!" He held the struggling pilot in an unrelenting grip and stared into his eyes. "I know you're hurt! I know you're angry. Believe me, I know how you feel, Tom! But you're not just going to push me out of your life! I've fought too long to find you only to lose you now."   
  
Tom looked up into Chakotay's intense dark eyes and read the pain there. The desperation and something else. Something that made Tom want to melt against that muscular chest, to let himself forget the pain and anger, to take refuge in the haven of his lover's arms and let it all go in a storm of tears. He held himself back with iron resolve.   
  
"I'm not going to deny anything, Tom. I know what you saw, and you have a right to be hurt, and angry. I can't take back the things I did. I can't make it all go away... no matter how much I want to, there is no way to erase it. I love you, Tom. What I did was stupid and selfish, but I am not the only one in the wrong here. I wont take the wounded innocent act from you."   
  
"You're having an affair with him?"   
  
"I was. But it was over as soon as you came back to me."   
  
"You should have told me." Tom said.   
  
"Yes. I intended to tell you, but I never had the chance."   
  
"Bullshit!" Tom wrenched away from Chakotay's touch. "We fucking spent the _night_  together, Chakotay! We spent a whole fucking night together and you didn't tell me... then the morning... and then after he came to your cabin... _why?_  Why didn't you tell me!?"   
  
"I... I don't know." Chakotay's shoulders drooped in defeat. "I don't know why I didn't... spirits! I wish I had... but I didn't and I can't take that back either." He walked to the view port and stared into space.   
  
Tom collapsed onto the sofa. Burying his face in the arm of it, he sobbed, a harsh, wracking sound of sorrow and despair. "But you were with him when I came back from Obrist's cabin. You were with him... kissing him... "   
  
"No!" Chakotay swung around and went to Tom's side, hunkering down and gently touching Tom's hair. "You have to believe me, Tom. I didn't want that... I didn't ask him to come... _listen_! You saw something that hurt you, you saw a situation that looked bad... I wont deny it! But, Tom, I've tried to tell you before; as well as looking, you have to learn how to _see_... "   
  
"You're going to try and tell me I didn't see you holding another man in your arms and kissing him?" Tom rose to his feet quickly, almost unbalancing Chakotay onto his ass on the floor. "Christ, Chakotay! What kind of hocus pocus will you use to explain this?"   
  
Chakotay struggled to his feet, pushing a hand through his hair and following Tom. "I'm telling you to really take a look at what you saw, Tom...that's all! You saw me with Astemus, you saw Astemus kissing me! But you sure as hell did  _not_  walk in on me cheating on you! He came to my cabin while I was in the bath. I asked him to leave. I didn't want you to come and find him there. He and I were never anything more than... "   
  
Chakotay trailed off, watching as Tom's eyes grew colder and more shuttered by the minute. "Fuck, Tom! What the fuck do you want from me? You want me to beg? Is that it? You want me to get on my knees and grovel for your forgiveness?"   
  
"No. I don't want that." Tom lowered his eyes. He wanted so much to relent. He wanted to tell Chakotay everything was OK, he wanted to make love until the morning. He wanted to forgive. And yet, the hurt still tore at him and he couldn't see a way past it.   
  
"What _do_  you want, Tom?" Chakotay's voice sounded tired. So very tired and his posture was defeated. "Tell me what to do?"   
  
"I want... " Tom had to swallow the lump in his throat before he could go on. "I... want you to leave, Chakotay. Just go... please."   
  
Chakotay drew a sharp breath and took a half step towards his lover. "Tom... "   
  
"No... Please, Chakotay." Tom stepped away, keeping the distance between them, knowing that if Chakotay touched him again, he would break, shatter in a million pieces. He couldn't allow Chakotay to touch him. He wouldn't lose himself in someone that way ever again. "Go."   
  
Chakotay straightened his spine. "All right. You've made your choice. I'll respect it." He stopped, closing his eyes as he fought for composure. "Goodnight, _Lieutenant._ "


	17. Chapter 17

**Day 224**  
  
  
  
Tom smiled at Obrist as the Krenim first officer stepped into the room. "Glad you decided to come," he said softly and didn't resist when Obrist took him in his arms, kissing him deeply.   
  
When the kiss ended, Tom smiled into Obrist's eyes. "Are you sure about this?"   
  
"Yes. I am sure." Obrist's lips quirked into a faint smile as he released Tom and moved to the table, seating himself and beginning to work on a small console.   
  
"This is the schematic for the temporal core. I showed it to you earlier. You will have to send this information to you your captain. If Voyager strikes here ... " he pointed, indicating various points on the screen for Tom who had come to stand behind him, "And here ... the core will be breached."   
  
Tom nodded. He studied Obrist for a moment then glanced back at the screen. "It looks straight forward enough," he said. "Have you thought of any backups in case something should go wrong?"   
  
Obrist gave a brief nod. "I have. It involves bringing one, perhaps two other officers in on the plan, but I know who I can trust." He glanced up at Tom. "Are you going to tell the Commander about any of this? It is all very well for my crew to become embroiled in a mutiny, but you should not have to risk that."   
  
Tom bowed his head, avoiding Obrist's eyes. "I don't know. Chakotay and I haven't talked to one another for more than a week. He blinked, slowly and drew a long sigh. "I'll think on it some more."   
  
"Do that. I would be more at ease with this if he knew."   
  
Tom eased his frame into a chair. "So, who are these two officers you think we can trust?"   
  
"Two junior officers who often take duty on the bridge. I can roster them both on for whatever day we decide to implement this plan. Lieutenant Torin and ..." Obrist hesitated a moment, "Private Astemus."   
  
Tom nodded slowly, a part of him reacting with immediate rejection at the idea of Astemus being any part of the plan, but he held those feelings in check. "You know this crew better than I do. I'll trust your judgement."   
  
Obrist smiled and reached a hand to caress Tom's cheek. "I know how you feel about Astemus, but I know him. He wants to go home as badly as the rest of us. He will not do anything to jeopardize that chance." Leaning in, he caught Tom's soft lips in a tender kiss, followed by several more, smaller kisses, slowly pulling the young human against him. "I want you," he whispered.   
  
Tom groaned softly, falling into Obrist's embrace, closing his eyes and pushing thoughts of Chakotay aside. He responded eagerly, pressing his lips on Obrist's mouth, flicking his tongue teasingly across the Krenim's lips.   
  
Leaning back and shifting position slightly, Obrist pulled Tom into his lap so that the young human straddled him. His hands went to the belt of Tom's jacket, unfastening it and slipping inside. Gentle fingers caressed Tom's chest, exploring the silken feel of his skin. He slipped his tongue into Tom's mouth and moaned when it was eagerly met.   
  
Tom shivered, giving himself over to the sensations coursing through his body. He sighed into the kiss, deepening it, letting his tongue twine with Obrist's. The Major's hands roamed over Tom's skin, bringing nerve endings to tingling life with feather soft touches until they found his nipples, gently pinching, eliciting a cry of pleasure from Tom.   
  
Fevered breathing mingled with the sounds of quiet moans and groans of pleasure, the silken whisper of skin against skin as Obrist gently eased Tom's jacket back from his shoulders to let it fall to the floor.   
  
The soft murmuring of lovers, and the moist sounds of lips meeting in passionate exploration made a sensuous counterpoint to the almost inaudible throb of the weapon ship's engines as vessel continued her silent voyage outside of time.   
  
Obrist pushed Tom out of his lap and urged him to the floor, sinking down with him as Tom's hands quickly relieved him of his jacket, while he helped Tom to get free of his pants.   
  
Tom lay on his back on the floor, naked and yearning for more. He groaned deep in his throat as Obrist's lips left his to trail a path down his neck to his shoulder, pausing to bite and suck at the place where shoulder and neck joined. He shuddered, flashes of pleasure running from the place where Obrist's teeth grazed his skin, down his spine to his cock, causing the aching member to twitch with anticipation.   
  
Obrist growled, trailing a hand downwards along Tom's body, caressing him in small circles, chuckling as Tom twitched and writhed with pleasure from his touch. He moved ever lower, running his fingers across Tom's flat, taut belly and tangling them in the hair just below the human's navel. He teased, combing his fingers through that fine, wiry hair then took hold of Tom's cock in his hand, curling long, tapered fingers around the heated organ.   
  
"Ah!" Tom arched his back with a harsh cry, feeling as though his whole body was ablaze with desire for the Krenim. "Oh gods...Obrist!"   
  
"You want me, Tom Paris?" The words were breathed on a tantalizing whisper, close against his ear. "You want to fuck me?"   
  
"Yes!" Tom gasped, "Yes, yes!"   
  
"Wait!" Came the teasingly imperious command. "When I am ready."   
  
Tom writhed as his body was assailed by a teasing wet mouth, licking and sucking its way down over his chest to seize his nipples. Obrist nipped him, almost painfully, the pleasure again making a direct connection to his cock which Obrist continued to stroke slowly, sensuously, holding him in a highly aroused state but not allowing him to come close to climax.   
  
"Ohh, my god!" Tom arched his back, eyes closed, reveling in the heady pleasure that sang through his veins, driving him to a peak of desire that took his breath and left him begging for more. "Please...please!" Obrist teased his way lower and then, Tom bucked and cried out, "Oh, Christ!"   
  
Obrist smiled, his lips curving around the stiff, throbbing member he held in his mouth. Swirling his tongue around the weeping tip of the human pilot's cock, he made a small sound of appreciation. Tom tasted so sweet. He took the man's cock deep into his mouth and began to suck gently.   
  
Tom whimpered, reaching down to tangle his fingers in the silky black hair of his lover, arching his back and moving in time to the bobbing of Obrist's head. He knew he would not last much longer. He groaned, calling Obrist's name softly. "Stop...no..I don't want...ohhhh I don't wanna c-come yet!"   
  
The only response was an increase of pace as Obrist sucked him harder.   
  
"Oh shit!" Tom muttered between clenched teeth. "Ohhh shiiiiiit!" He arched his back, hips rising completely off the floor as he came in Obrist's mouth. He sobbed with ecstasy as his cock spurted the load of hot, sweet passion and Obrist eagerly lapped it up, swallowing willingly and then gently cleaning Tom off with his tongue.   
  
Tom barely had time to recover from the shattering climax before Obrist nudged him, silently commanding him to roll onto his belly. He made a sound, half a groan and half a whimper as he did so.   
  
Tom tensed as Obrist's fingers began to tease him, running over his buttocks and coming tantalizingly close to slipping inside his body, only to retreat once more as Obrist chuckled softly, delighting in Tom's response to his touch.   
  
Tom didn't know where Obrist got the lube from, and frankly he didn't care when a well oiled finger slipped into his ass and began to stroke him. He moaned, close to sensory overload, his head spinning, his heart pounding against his ribs. "Please, he muttered between gritted teeth. "Fuck me, Obrist, I need you..."   
  
"Oh, you are so impatient," Obrist replied, leaning forward to playfully nip the top of Tom's ear as he whispered to the young human. "And I thought you wanted to fuck _me_ this time?" He withdrew his finger for a moment, only to draw a squeal of pleasure from Tom when he returned with two fingers, thrusting deeply, gently stretching Tom for his cock.   
  
After a few more moments of teasing Obrist positioned himself between Tom's spread thighs, kneeling on the floor and gently pulling Tom back a little so that the human was on his knees, head and shoulders resting on the floor. He pressed the tip of his erect member to the entrance of Tom's body and slowly, gently inched forwards.   
  
"Ohhhh!" Tom shuddered from head to toe as Obrist entered his body. He groaned, shivering uncontrollably as Obrist waited, giving him time to adjust. After a moment or two, he gently urged his body back against the other man, signalling his readiness.   
  
Obrist began to fuck the beautiful human, reveling in the heat of his body as it enveloped his swollen cock. Pumping slowly, rhythmically in and out of the yielded body beneath him. He closed his eyes, tipping his head backwards and groaned deep in his throat as Tom grunted and pushed himself back against Obrist with increasing force.   
  
"Fuck me! Fuck me hard!" Tom muttered, urging his body against Obrist and meeting every thrust with his own. "I need it! I want you to fuck me, I want to feel you, hard! harder!"   
  
Driven beyond control by Tom's words, Obrist growled low in his throat and began to fuck his lover harder, driving his hips forward forcefully, each thrust punctuated by a grunt from Tom and the loud slap of flesh as their bodies met in a fevered rhythm of passion.   
  
Obrist threw his head back and let loose a wild shout of release as he came inside the human pilot's body. Pulling Tom hard against him he locked their bodies together as his cock spurted his seed deep into Tom's ass.   
  
Tom cried out also as Obrist's pleasure tipped him over the edge of sensory overload. He felt himself falling, falling into a soft, warm darkness that seemed to go on forever. He shuddered, moaning and collapsed on his belly as Obrist moved to lie on top of him.   
  
Tom was vaguely aware of Obrist's lips on his shoulder, his neck and then his cheek. He whimpered softly in response but was unable to move or speak as his body was overcome with a heavy languor. Eyes closed, he sighed softly and smiled a little as Obrist whispered sweet, meaningless words into his ear. Tom drifted to sleep, surrounded by the warmth of Obrist's body. 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soundtrack for this chapter: Against all Odds by Phil Collins

**Day 230**  
  
  
  
 _"Against All Odds"_    
  
  
  
Chakotay walked out of his cabin with a display padd in hand, He had a meeting with Annorax in ten minutes. They were planning to discuss the next Temporal Incursion which Annorax had calculated would bring a 99% restoration of the temporal continuum, it was plain, even though the elder Krenim did not say it, that he was convinced Kyana Prime would be restored this time. Chakotay shook his head.   
  
The last incursion had brought a 52% restoration and yet, Kyana Prime had not been restored. Chakotay had told Annorax then, that it may never be possible to restore that colony. He let his mind drift back to that conversation, just after the incursion, when Tom had run from the bridge.   
  
Chakotay followed Annorax to his quarters and confronted the older man over the incursion. "You didn't need to fire on that planet!"   
  
"I am altering history on a massive scale. The destinies of countless star systems are in my hands. The fate of one species is insignificant."   
  
"You're trying to rationalize genocide," Chakotay said harshly. "One species is significant. A single life is significant."   
  
"It seemed so...easy the first time. In the blink of an eye, I had changed history itself. Allowed my people to thrive again. But when I changed history a second time, I lost more than you can imagine."   
  
"The colony on Kyana Prime," Chakotay suggested softly.   
  
"How could you know that?" Annorax demanded, turning to glare at Chakotay.   
  
"I've been studying your previous incursions. No matter how close you get to restoring the time line, one component is always missing...Kyana Prime. Who was on that colony? Who did you lose?"   
  
"My wife...and with her my future. My children, grandchildren--all erased because of me."   
  
"This is all I have left of her." As he spoke, Annorax traced his fingers over a small glass container, shaped like a pyramid. Inside, a single lock of red hair, suspended by a small golden band.   
  
Chakotay glanced at the relic then returned his gaze to Annorax's face, listening in silence.   
  
"So many years I worked through the night while she was sleeping. How could I have known I was...calculating her fate? I can't stop until I've restored Kyana Prime and forced Time to give me back my wife."   
  
"But, maybe that is not possible. You've tried this so many times. Perhaps it isn't possible to restore the colony..." Chakotay trailed off realizing the implications of what he'd said. {{Maybe it isn't possible for us ...any of us to get back...}} He shook his head. "Perhaps it is time you gave it up, Annorax...returned to the Krenim home world, made a new life..."   
  
"Time has moods, Chakotay, it can be lighthearted and generous, and it can be so cruel and unforgiving." He met Chakotay's eyes for the first time, his own reflecting deep regret and sadness. "Time itself has tried to punish me for my arrogance. It has kept me from my wife, denied me my future."   
  
Chakotay opened his mouth to speak but paused as the doors to the ready room opened. He turned to see Obrist standing just inside the door.   
  
"The scans are completed sir." Obrist cast Chakotay a brief glance before looking at Annorax.   
  
"Results?"   
  
"A fifty-two percent restoration, sir." Obrist sighed softly as he delivered the news.   
  
"Kyana Prime?" The hope in Annorax's eyes was painful to see   
  
"Negative, sir." Obrists dark eyes seemed to flood with sorrow as he reported the information.   
  
"Continue scanning the continuum." Annorax said with a small sigh.   
  
Obrist bowed, without speaking and withdrew.   
  
Annorax was silent, obviously fighting some inner battle and for a few moments, he seemed to forget Chakotay. Finally, he turned tired eyes to the Native American and spoke in a voice that sounded suddenly old and tired.   
  
"I've, uh...I've studied your calculations, Chakotay. They're promising but... premature. We'll keep working on them. In the meantime, my mission must continue."   
  
"You don't have the right--" Chakotay shouted, taking a step towards the Krenim commander.   
  
"--To fight for what is mine? That's not for you to decide. Only Time can pronounce judgment against me."   
  
Chakotay glared into Annorax's eyes for a long moment. He wanted to shake the man, *make* him see reason. He balled his hands into fists at his sides. {{It's hopeless! *he's* hopeless! He has lost any sense of reason he may once have possessed.}}   
  
Chakotay turned and left the Annorax alone with his regrets and memories. 

 

* * *

  
  
Now, Chakotay was taking his latest calculations to show Annorax. He had come very close, the previous night, to cracking the puzzle. By the calculations on the padd in his hand, they could achieve a 99.5% restoration and do so without harming anyone. Chakotay's heart was light, he hoped to convince Annorax to abandon his own calculations, which entailed an incursion against a populated planet in favor of these new plans. He sighed, glancing down at the PADD in his hand, deep in thought and frowned. _I can only hope that I will meet success this time. Spirits, please let it work._  
  
The sound of soft, familiar laughter caught his attention and he looked up, coming to a halt as his heart constricted with sudden, intense pain.   
  
Ahead of him, standing outside Tom's cabin, Obrist was in conversation with Tom Paris. They were intent on each other, neither one noticing Chakotay.   
  
Obrist smiled as he listened to some inanity Tom was murmuring. Tom leaned against the wall and Obrist stood close, the palm of one hand resting against the wall. His dark eyes were fixed, unwavering on Tom's beautiful face.   
  
Chakotay drew a deep breath, not wanting to watch, and yet unable to tear his eyes away. As he watched, Obrist leaned forward, capturing Tom's lips with his own and halting the pilot's stream of banter.   
  
Tom moaned, the sound audible from where Chakotay stood.

A knife point of agony twisted in his breast. Chakotay closed his eyes for an instant.  He staggered, leaned against the wall keeping out of sight as he continued to watch the intimate scene. It was obvious that Obrist was departing for his shift, saying good bye to Tom before he left.  
  
Tom raised a hand to touch Obrist's cheek as the kiss deepened, a gesture he'd repeated with Chakotay so often that the commander could almost feel it. He shuddered, biting back an anguished groan. He and Tom had shared so much, done so much together, he didn't know how he could ever let Tom go.   
  
Chakotay bit down hard on his lower lip as he felt tears well in his eyes. _Oh Spirits, Tom! Why can't you understand? Why can't you see what your actions are doing to me? I love you so much. I can't believe it's over. If I could just talk to you. Make you see...if you could see my tears, my pain. Oh, Tom...don't leave me!_    
  
As Obrist pulled back, breaking the kiss, Chakotay turned away. Stumbling towards his own quarters. He couldn't face Annorax now. Not while this pain was so raw. He needed to clarify his thoughts before he could focus on discussions of time lines and temporal physics. He rushed back to his quarters and locked himself inside. 

> * * *
> 
>   
>   
> _Take a look at me now 'Cause there's just an empty space_  
>  _But to wait for you Is all I can do_  
>  _And that's what I've got to face_  
>   
>  _Take a good look at me now_  
>  _'Cause I'll still be standing here_  
>  _And you coming back to me_  
>  _Is against all odds_  
>  _That's the chance I've got to take_  
>  _Take a look at me now._  
>  Against all Odds  
> Phil Collins  
>   
>   
>   
>   
> 


	19. Chapter 19

**Day 232**  
  
  
  
 _Mr Christian._  
  
  
  
Tom walked along the hallway towards Chakotay's cabin. He was not looking forward to seeing his commanding officer again, they had not spoken since that final night when Chakotay had left his cabin.   
  
Now, it was important that he and Chakotay talked. His plans with Obrist, Astemus and Torin were finalized, and Obrist refused to progress any further until Chakotay knew about the mutiny, even if he wouldn't assist them.   
  
Tom had asked what they would do if Chakotay decided not to take a part in the mutiny. He remembered the look in Obrist's gentle dark eyes as the Krenim First Officer responded.   
  
"We will have to face that, Tom, if it happens. He will be treated just as any other person who resists us would. You know it is not our intention or our desire to harm anyone. However, I cannot guarantee that it wont happen."   
  
Tom didn't want anything to happen to Chakotay. For all his bravado, he loved Chakotay. He hoped that the commander would decide to come in on the plan.   
  
Arriving at Chakotay's door, he pressed the chime and drew a deep breath, straightening his shoulders and donning his _Tom Paris, Neutral_  mask as he stepped through the doors at Chakotay's call.   
  
"Tom!" Chakotay sat at his dining table with a half eaten meal in front of him. As Tom walked in, he half rose from his chair and laid the fork down on his plate.   
  
"Don't get up." Tom managed a passably cheerful tone to match the altogether false smile on his lips. He looked into the dark eyes of his erstwhile lover and his heart nearly stopped when he read the naked agony in them. _Gods, he always did have the most expressive eyes_. Looking away, Tom swung a chair out from the table and straddled it backwards, leaning his folded arms across its backrest.   
  
"What brings you here, Tom?" Chakotay made a pretense of continuing with his meal, chasing a piece of some green vegetable around the plate with his fork.   
  
"We need to talk, Chakotay." Tom watched the commander for a moment, noting the lines of tiredness around his eyes and mouth.   
  
Chakotay met Tom's eyes for a moment in silence. "What about? I thought you made everything quite clear to me last time, Tom...I.."   
  
"Chakotay, just listen. Please." Tom held up a hand and returned Chakotay's gaze steadily. "This isn't about us. I'm here because Obrist and I have found a way to get us out of this. We're ready to move on this, but Obrist is unwilling to go ahead with it until you know what we plan."   
  
"I see …" Chakotay stared down at the table top to hide the pain Tom's words caused. "'Obirst and I ...' 'Obrist is unwilling …' 'What we plan …'" He looked up once he had brought his feelings under control and smiled. "It sounds as though we have both been busy. I have also got a plan that I am ready to move on. Annorax is willing to try my theory and..."   
  
"Another incursion!" Tom leaped to his feet. "Chakotay, you've got to be crazy! How can you even believe this ship is the solution to this? Don't you think it hasn't all been tried before? These men have been repeating this hopeless scenario _for two hundred years_! Come on, Chakotay! You've seen first hand what a miserable failure it is! Look at what happened with the last incursion," Tom raged. "If that little display doesn't convince you I don't know what will. He's insane."   
  
"No he's not," Chakotay insisted. "Wounded, maybe, even tortured, but I can still reach him...convince him to stop."   
  
"Not from what you've told me. This guy thinks that Time has a personal grudge against him. That's called paranoia, Chakotay, with a hint of megalomania."   
  
"You don't know what he's been through," muttered Chakotay.   
  
"He's lost his family. Okay, that's a terrible thing. But so has everyone else on this ship--and frankly, so have we!" Tom faced off to the Commander, blue eyes blazing as he gazed into Chakotay's dark brown ones.   
  
"What kind of progress have you made?" It was a challenge, softly spoken but unmistakable.   
  
"Obrist is coming around...and I think we can trust him. He says he'll give me access to their communications array. I can send a message to Voyager from the comfort of my own quarters," Tom said.   
  
Chakotay nodded, "And the temporal core?"   
  
"That's...going to be a little trickier. With Obrist's help, I'm pretty sure I can disable it--but not without setting off every alarm on this ship. We're only going to have one chance."   
  
"It'll require precise timing. You and me working from within..."   
  
"And Captain Janeway attacking from Voyager..." Tom urged hesitantly. Something in Chakotay's manner had changed. It was marginal, but it was there. "That is...if the Captain's still alive."   
  
"She's alive. Send the message. Transmit our coordinates." Chakotay stared into Tom's eyes, maybe, just maybe they could get out of this, and then Tom would be his again. He felt as though he was clutching at straws but he was willing to try, if by some means it would soften Tom towards him.   
  
"Done," Tom whirled and headed for the door.   
  
"And..." Chakotay called after him. "Give Kathryn my regards.   
  
Tom smiled broadly and left the room. 


	20. Chapter 20

_The Storm Breaks_  
  
  
  
Tom hit the button to send his message then looked up, sighing softly as he stared into the middle distance. He mentally reviewed the message. _Priority one communique from_ _Lieutenant_   _Tom Paris, to the Federation starship USS Voyager, we are located in sector 18 of this quadrant. Set course, bearing 340 mark 10 and prepare to rendezvous. Chakotay and I have managed to find a way to disable the Weapon Ship's shields. Do not respond to or acknowledge this message._  
  
Tom squared his shoulders, he had encrypted the message in a way that only someone with intimate knowledge of Federation Com codes would use, and added a packet with information on the Krenim ship's schematics. Now, he could only hope Captain Janeway had received it.   
  
"It is done?" Obrist spoke softly from behind him and Tom nodded.   
  
"Yeah." He stood up and turned to face his Krenim lover. "Now, we wait." Tom studied the other man's face for a moment. "I forgot to say it before, but, thanks. I know how much this is costing you. Chakotay and I are grateful for your help."   
  
Obrist put his hands on Tom's shoulders, his lips curving slightly. "Well, I have a vested interest in this plan. Despite the cost, there is much to be gained if we are successful. I am only sorry that -- we will be parted."   
  
"We don't have to be. You could come with us -- or I..." Tom spoke impulsively, his heart getting the better of his head for a moment.   
  
"No." Obrist stilled Tom's lips with a finger. "That cannot be, Tom Paris. I know the heart that lies behind those words, but I know it cannot happen. You would be miserable, cut off from your friends and loved ones. I know that pain only too well. And I -- I want to go home. I love you, Tom Paris, but I must let you go."   
  
"But -- how do you know what will happen? What we're planning to do -- this ship could be destroyed and everyone aboard along with it." Tom said. "That might reset time, but maybe -- maybe it wont and then you'd have gambled everything for nothing. Come with us, Obrist! Come with us and make a new life! Voyager is a fine ship And our planet is..."   
  
"Not my home, Paris. I know your home world is wonderful. The things you have told me -- are beyond my comprehension. But it is not _my home_."   
  
"Obrist..."   
  
"No, Tom Paris. As uncertain as the risk is, I must take it. I cannot live like this any longer. I cannot bear to think of living the rest of my life never knowing, never trying; and knowing everyone I hold dear is gone." Obrist kissed Tom one more time then let him go. "Now -- go to Chakotay. He loves you. You belong with him." He turned away quickly and left before Tom could reply.   
  
"No..." Tom whispered brokenly as he watched the man leave, noting the stiff, military bearing. The shoulders so squared and firm, the dark head held erect and high, the spine straight and strong with resolve. "I love you. I love you ..."   
  
Obrist paused and glanced back at Tom, his dark eyes studying the young human's face for a moment before he nodded. "I know," he said softly. "Good bye, Tom Paris."   
  


* * *

  
Chakotay walked along the hallway to Tom's cabin, his dark eyes clouded with uncertainty and his steps slow. He had to see Tom, but was unsure of what he would find when he got there. Would Obrist be with Tom? Would Tom close him out again? The commander swallowed hard and took a deep breath steeling his resolve. No matter what happened, he was going to speak with Tom. He couldn't just let his lover go without a fight.   
  
Arriving at the door, he hesitated a moment before he pressed the door chime. Passing his tongue across suddenly dry lips, Chakotay straightened his clothes and brushed a hand through his hair. The door slid open and he found himself staring into the tear stained face of the blonde pilot who had captured his heart so long ago. "Tom?"   
  
Tom didn't reply, a small shudder ran through him and Chakotay watched as the man struggled to control his emotions. "What;'s happened, Tom? Voyager?" Sudden fear gripped his heart as he remembered today was the day Tom had planned to contact their ship. "Has anything happened to..."   
  
"No." Tom turned his back to Chakotay. "As...far as I know, Voyager is fine. I sent the -- sent the message. They should have received it and decrypted it by now."   
  
"I see." Chakotay frowned slightly and stepped into the room. The reason for Tom's emotional state puzzled him, but he was unsure how to ask. He stood quietly, watching the younger man and slipped his hands behind his back.   
  
"Tom, are you all right?" The question was spoken softly, hesitantly and Chakotay watched as the pilot shook his head and sank down on the sofa, his shoulders shaking as his control broke and he began to sob brokenly.   
  
"Tom!" Chakotay was at this lover's side in an instant, pulling the unresisting man into his arms. "Tom...I'm here. What's wrong?"   
  
For a moment, Tom let himself melt against Chakotay's chest, sobbing out his pain and confusion as he had done so many times. "Oh, 'Tay..."   
  
"Shh...it's ok, I'm here..."   
  
"No!" Tom suddenly pushed away and buried his face in his hands. "Don't...don't love me...I hurt everyone...or they hurt me...I c-can't do this again...not anymore..." He was almost incoherent with the wracking sobs that tore from his chest. "Just leave me, Chakotay. I'm not worth the trouble...I...I screw up everything!"   
  
"It's too late to tell me not to love you, Tom. I couldn't change that now, even if I wanted to."   
  
"Just go, Chakotay. Please. I don't want company right now," Tom said.   
  
Chakotay watched the tears that ran between his lover's fingers and down over his wrists and forearms. "I'm not going anywhere, Tom. I'm not going to leave you alone like this. Stop behaving like a fool and let someone love you for once in your life!"   
  
The blonde head came up and tormented blue eyes blazed into Chakotay's. "Just what the hell is that supposed to mean?"   
  
"You know what it means! This is an old and familiar game for you Tom! You let someone get so close and no further, then you do the wounded soldier act and nobly push them away, for their own good! Well, you're not doing it with me, Tom! I'm not letting you go!"   
  
"A game?!" Tom snarled. "You think I do this for kicks? You think I fuck with people's emotions and minds for the hell of it? You think I _enjoy_  this?"   
  
"I don't know about enjoying it, Tom, but I know it is a pattern with you. You've told me about it. Julian, Megan, now me? Well some time this has got to end, Tom. Someone has got to be stronger for once and stop you from doing this. You're not doing it this time...not this time. I'm not going to be the next victim of your noble nature!"   
  
"Oh and you know me so well? You know my thoughts and my mind well enough to diagnose that..." Sarcasm dripped from every word and Tom slipped into the role of the sardonic bastard he'd been when Chakotay first met him, with the ease of slipping on a glove.   
  
"I think I do, yes. This whole mess on this ship was one elaborate plan to push me out of your life, Tom. Then what were you going to do? Draw Obrist in until he got too close then push him away? What happened? Did he realize it, and turn your own game against you?"   
  
"FUCK YOU!" It was a shout of rage, but Chakotay heard the pain mingled in and knew he'd hit a nerve.   
  
"I'm right, Tom. You hate it, but you know I am right. You made it all look so noble, you were sacrificing your own happiness to get us out of this, but I can read your motives." Chakotay allowed a ghost of a smile to touch his lips. "I'm probably an idiot...a fool for it...but I love you and I don't care what you've done, I'm not letting you get away."   
  
Tom sighed and sank down on the sofa, pushing his hands through his short hair. He didn't know if Chakotay's analysis of his actions was correct or not, but suddenly all the fight went out of him. He sighed, closing his eyes and kept his head down, not looking at his lover.   
  
"Right, now that you're calm, we can talk." Chakotay sat opposite Tom, leaning back in the chair. "Tell me what happened."   
  
Tom drew a heavy sigh. "I tried to convince Obrist to come back to Voyager with us."   
  
"And he refused. You had to know he would, Tom. Obrist doesn't belong in our time, our universe, he is an anomaly."   
  
"Yes," A barely audible whisper. "He refused...and..."   
  
"And?"   
  
"He told me to go back to you...that I belong with you." Tom shook his head. "Maybe you're right, maybe he did deal me my own cards."   
  
Chakotay suppressed a smile. "Maybe he did. Maybe you didn't like it."   
  
"I hate it!" Tom looked up for the first time. "I _hate_ it!"   
  
"I know you do, but now you know how it feels." Chakotay's tone was gentle but gave no quarter. "Think about it. How many people have you dealt those cards to, Tom?"   
  
"Too many." Tom said, his voice harsh with emotion. "Gods...too many." He looked away. "I never intend to...it never starts out that way...but it always ends the same."   
  
"You're afraid to let anyone in, Tom. It scares you, and rather than face it, you push people out."   
  
"Maybe." Tom said.   
  
"Maybe?"   
  
"Yeah." Tom glanced at Chakotay then looked out the window. "I wanna go home, Cha...I wanna go home and forget all this."   
  
"We'll go back To Voyager, Tom, but as for home, I don't think you really have a _home_  not a real one...not a home where you can give yourself and be yourself and be accepted."   
  
"Probably not. I don't think I have ever...well, at least, not for a long time..." Tom trailed off.   
  
"I know, Tom." Chakotay sighed and moved to stand next to the pilot, following his gaze out of the window. "You can have it, if you want it badly enough, but it means opening yourself, it means being prepared to be hurt, and it means letting someone get closer to you than anyone has...for a long time."   
  
Tom was silent for several minutes as he seemed to ponder Chakotay's words. After a while he turned to look at the commander. "I ... Want it, Chakotay. I'm tired of being locked up inside myself, alone and scared...Help me, please."   
  
Chakotay let his breath out on a sob and turned to pull Tom into his arms. "Tom...Tom...I love you...I'll help you if I can...but I am scared too."   
  
"Well, we can be scared together, I'm always only half as scared in company." Tom buried his face in the big man's shirt and closed his eyes. "Sorry..." his voice was a small groan of pain. "I'm so sorry..."   
  
"Shh, Tom. Let's not worry about that, it's past. Let's just get out of this and go home."   
  


* * *

  
Kathryn Janeway stood on Voyager's ravaged bridge, on the platform where the ruined tactical and operations consoles stood as mute testament to the battle her ship had faced and somehow survived.   
  
"The message was encrypted in a way that no-one outside of a high ranking Federation Officer could possibly know, and it was signed with Tom Paris' personal signatures." She paused, looking over her crew. "It's real!"   
  
She watched as the ripple of hope and relief ran through her senior officers. Glancing at Harry Kim who seemed to grow two inches in as many seconds, she spared him a small smile and a nod.   
  
Tuvok straightened his shoulders, and lifted his chin, his blind eyes staring into nothingness, a small and almost imperceptible reaction to the news, but Kathryn caught it and found her own eyes misting with tears.   
  
This message could not have been better timed if she had planned it.   
  
"They are in a sector approximately fifty light years from our current location. Tom has found a way to make the Krenim vessel vulnerable to our weapons. Mr Tuvok, I will require your assistance in planning the attack. Neelix, she turned her attention to the little hairy being who had dubbed himself chief cook and morale officer. "You know this quadrant and it's people better than anyone. I'll need your help with who to ask to assist us."   
  
Neelix pulled himself up to his full height and beamed back at her. "Of course, Captain! I'll start thinking on it right away..." he lapsed into a thoughtful silence.   
  
Kathryn nodded at Neelix then looked over the remaining crew. "For the rest of us, it's time to get this ship as battle ready as possible. Once we are in range, Tom will transmit the exact coordinates of the time ship's core. It is then up to us and our allies to take it out of commission." She gave them all one last inspection and then a small, decisive nod. "Let's do it!"   
  


* * *

  
On board the Krenim time ship, Annorax sat in his chair at the center of the bridge, gazing at the map of the temporal continuum. His thoughts were occupied with the problem of the two human officers he and his crew had abducted from Voyager months earlier. Pondering the anomalous appearance of that ship in the Delta Quadrant, Annorax pinched his lower lip thoughtfully.   
  
 _That ship was not present when we originally used this weapon to destroy the Rilnar. In every incursion since then, we have failed to restore Kyana prime... Something must have changed...something I couldn't take into account...something that Voyager's presence has altered._  
  
The ageing Krenim commander stood up and moved to the map, tracing his fingers over a time line. _One factor...one small alteration could deny me my rightful possession forever....Voyager._    
  
"Obrist!" He turned quickly away from the map and fixed his eyes on his first officer. "Find that Federation Vessel! Scan every sector...every system...search every _nebula_  until you find it. and let me know the minute you have them on sensors!"   
  
Obrist straightened his shoulders, meeting Annorax' eyes with a cool, level gaze. There was a tiny flicker of hesitation, the merest breath of time passed before he gave a decisive nod. "Yes sir. Initiating scans now." He lowered his eyes to his console only then letting his concern surface. _Gods we have left it too late...he has second guessed us!_  
  
To his left, Obrist caught a flicker of movement and he turned his eyes to Torin who stood at the console nearest the entrance to the bridge. He met the worried, questioning gaze of the lieutenant then flicked a glance at Annorax, discomfited to find the commander's eyes were still on him, watching intently. There was nothing he could do but return to his work, fighting down the worry that boiled within him.   
  
"Obrist..." Annorax's voice, soft and silky. "Are you feeling all right?"   
  
"Yes, sir. I am well." He tapped controls, struggling to keep his expression composed.   
  
"Good..." Annorax favored him with an avuncular smile. "For a moment I feared you might be taken ill suddenly?"   
  
"No...sir." Obrist felt perspiration break out on his temples. "I am all right."   
  
"Fine...I will be in my chambers..." Annorax took a step away from his first officer and then turned back as though on afterthought. "It would be unwise...Obrist.... _extremely_  unwise, for anyone to need to be excused from the bridge...for any reason...we need all hands available. Understood?"   
  
"Understood, sir."   
  
Annorax nodded and turned to leave the bridge, walking slowly, as though deliberately prolonging the agony. From under his eyelids, Obrist watched him go.   
  
As soon as the door of the commander's quarters closed behind him Torin spoke. "Sir, I'll go and..."   
  
Obrist looked up sharply, meeting Tobin's eyes with a decisive shake of his head. "No. You will remain at your post."   
  
"But...Sir?"   
  
"We cannot risk it. He suspects at present, if we make any move, it will be an admission." Obrist kept his voice low enough for only himself and Torin. "We have no other choice...I will stall as long as possible. Other than that, we can only try to allay his suspicions. Remain at your post. At least until your shift is over."   
  


* * *

  
Chakotay looked up and glanced at Tom as the door chimes rang.   
  
"I'm not expecting anyone," Tom shrugged.   
  
Frowning, Chakotay got up to open the door, finding himself face to face with two officers who he knew from earlier times aboard this ship. "Yes?"   
  
"You and your crew mate are to accompany us. Annorax wishes to speak with you." The Krenim looked across Chakotay's shoulder at Tom as he spoke, then turned his eyes back to Chakotay.   
  
"All right." Chakotay said.  
  
Tom got slowly to his feet, blue eyes narrowed, and moved to stand next to the commander. For an instant, his hand brushed Chakotay's in a gesture of solidarity before the two officers stood aside to allow Chakotay to move out of the room ahead of them.   
  
  
As Tom was about to follow his lover, the second Krenim stepped between Tom and Chakotay keeping them apart as they headed towards the bridge. The gesture was not lost on Tom, he'd seen it used in Auckland too many times not to recognize it. _Oh shit..._  he thought. _Someone has given game away._  
  
  



	21. Chapter 21

As they crossed the bridge of the Krenim ship, Tom took the opportunity to glance around. For an instant his eyes met Obrist's and the expression he read there confirmed his worst suspicions. He slowed his steps, staring into the first officer's eyes for a long moment before one of the men escorting him and Chakotay shoved him and ordered him to hurry up. Obrist quickly averted his eyes and Tom had no choice but to move on. He pressed his lips together in a thin line, his mind racing as he wondered who could have leaked the mutiny plot to Annorax. One name came to mind, but he shook his head, hoping that his instinct was wrong for once.   
  
Fixing his eyes on Chakotay's broad shoulders, Tom steeled himself for whatever was to follow. They paused by the doors to Annorax' chambers as the leading officer rang the chimes then stood aside for the two humans to enter.   
  
It was a contrast to their first time in the Commanding Officer's presence. No table spread with all manner of food greeted this time, though Annorax sat, as before, behind his desk, fingers steepled, expression calculating.   
  
"Ah!" he said genially as the two men entered, "Gentlemen, welcome!" he got to his feet and made an expansive gesture with a gloved hand. "Sit!"   
  
Chakotay shot Tom a quick, worried glance as he took a seat. Tom nodded, his eyes busily scanning the room for any other occupant. There was no-one.   
  
He moved to a chair and sat down, folding his arms across his chest, his face schooled into the neutral expression he'd learned to wear in prison. Tom was no 'lagger' and Annorax would find that out. He waited, sparing one more glance for Chakotay before letting cold blue eyes rest on Annorax.   
  
Annorax turned his back on Chakotay and Paris and moved to a view port, slipping his hands behind his back, his clenched fists, the only outward sign of tension. "We're searching for your ship. It is only a matter of time until we find it, and your captain.   
  
You need not fear that I am going to try and force any kind of admission from you." He turned to give Chakotay a withering glance. "I've known for some time about this...mutiny."   
  
Tom swallowed, he had suspected this was why they were called here. Still, it was hard to have it confirmed so bluntly. He lowered his eyes, saying nothing and listened to the silence that stretched from seconds into minutes as Annorax remained staring out the window.   
  
"I should have destroyed Voyager when I had the chance." Annorax continued softly. "I will rectify that oversight." He turned to Chakotay. "I thought, in you, I had found a worthy protege, someone who saw time the way that I do, a kindred spirit, who could understand and assist me as no-one else could."   
  
Chakotay took a deep breath, his lips parted but he remained silent, staring at the Krenim with dark, unreadable eyes.   
  
Annorax shook his head. "An old fool, that's what I am," he sighed, "It will pain me to see you die, Chakotay. But of course you understand there is no other way? You've been a Captain, you've killed traitors too, you must understand it is nothing personal...it is...justice."   
  
"Justice!" Tom laughed bitterly. "If I had a credit for every time that word was used to ..."   
  
"Yes, Mr Paris...you have been here before...I know. If not on this ship, then on some other, you know what treason is. You knew what you were inciting my crew...good... _reliable_  men towards. Your death will not cause me any regret. I am only sorry I let you live this long!"   
  
"Bastard!" Tom leaped to his feet, only stopped from hurling himself at the Krenim by Chakotay who stood and caught his arm in an iron grip. "Enough, Tom!" Black eyes locked with blue for several heart beats before Tom shrugged out of Chakotay's grip and stood down.   
  
"So, you don't deny it?" Annorax asked.   
  
"Why would we?" Chakotay kept half an eye on Tom as he replied. "It seems to me, you have evidence, where is the point in denials?"   
  
"A wise decision." Annorax touched a button on his desk and the door slid open to admit the two officers who had escorted Tom and Chakotay to the bridge, followed by Astemus, and two others.   
  
"Dispose of them." Annorax said simply and turned back to gazing out the window.   
  
Two officers stepped forward, grabbing Tom and Chakotay by their shoulders and dragging them from the room.   
  
"No!" Tom struggled furiously, making it necessary for another Krenim to come to his captor's assistance. He was damned if he would go down without a fight.   
  
Chakotay offered no resistance, meekly allowing the Krenim holding him to shove him out through the doors. He glanced at Tom, catching and holding his gaze silently for a few seconds.   
  
Watching his lover, Tom ceased his struggles. He muttered a curse and shrugged his shoulders in protest, but let himself be taken out of Annorax's chambers.   
  
As the doors closed behind them, Chakotay nodded to Tom and spoke for the first time since Annorax had asked for a denial. "Now!"   
  
Needing no further urging, Tom lurched backwards, driving his elbow into the belly of the man who held him and then jerking his fist into the man's face when he doubled over.   
  
The Krenim grunted, blood spraying from his nose. He staggered backwards, Tom heard him hit the floor and turned to face Astemus, to find himself staring into the muzzle of a blaster.   
  
"You treacherous little prick!" he snarled. "I knew we couldn't trust you."   
  
From behind him, Obrist yelled, "Tom Paris! Run...we do not have time!"   
  
Tom gave Astemus one last contemptuous glance then took to his heels across the bridge, dodging as blaster fire slammed into the wall beside his head. He heard a return blast, a scream, and threw a glance over his shoulder in time to see Astemus sag against a wall, blood pouring from a gaping wound in his chest. Chakotay struggled with the other Krenim but it was a fight the commander looked assured of winning. Tom grinned and flew along the hallway towards his cabin.   
  
On the bridge, the struggle continued between Chakotay, the guards Annorax had mustered, and the Mutineers.   
  
Obrist had killed Astemus when the man threatened Tom, but no further shots had ensued, the guards seeming just as reluctant to open fire as the mutineers. For the most part, the fight was hand to hand.   
  
Annorax stepped from his chambers into the middle of a battle and stood for a moment, staring in shock at his crew run mad before his eyes. Reaching for the blaster he carried on his hip he pulled it from the holster, raised it and fired at Obrist, narrowly missing the first Officer's head. It brought an instant halt to the fighting and all officers concerned turned to stare at their commandant.   
  
"What is the meaning of this, Obrist?" Annorax met the Major's eyes, his own filled with cold contempt. "After everything I have done, this is my repayment? You raise my own crew against me?"   
  
Obrist said nothing, meeting Annorax' gaze in cold defiance.   
  
"As I expected. You have more courage behind my back than to my face." He held the blaster trained on his first officer, his hand rock steady and his gaze determined. "Tell your supporters to stand down, and return to your stations." He cast a glance at the Krenim officer to his left and jerked his head at Chakotay. "Secure him!"   
  
Obrist looked at Chakotay, then at his commanding officer. "You wont get away with this, Annorax. We will not stand down."   
  
"Kill the human." Annorax' eyes never left Obrist. "Then find his companion and kill him too."   
  
Chakotay tensed and closed his eyes as the muzzle of a blaster was pressed to his temple. Securely held, with his arms twisted behind his back he was helpless to defend himself. He heard the low frequency hum as the power cell of the weapon charged. _Kolopak! help me! Tom..._    
  
"Sir!" Torin spoke up. "Sir, we can't let them kill them....we _must_ stand down! Too many innocents have died already. Please, sir!"   
  
Obrist glanced at Chakotay again then looked at Torin. Considering a moment before he bowed his head, shoulders drooping in defeat. "We stand down. Do not harm the humans." His dark, desolate gaze touched Chakotay's for an instant before he turned and moved slowly to his station.   
  
"You are a sensible man, Obrist." Annorax said as he moved to the command seat.   
  
"What will we do with him?" One of the officers holding Chakotay asked.   
  
"Put him in restraints. Keep him here, I'd like to let him watch how the Krenim deal with ships who get in our way."   
  
"His companion, sir? He fled when the fighting broke out."   
  
"Leave him, for now. There is nowhere he can go on this ship, and I will take pleasure in dealing with him later." Annorax turned to Obrist. "Find Voyager."   
  
"Yes, sir." Obrist's voice was thick with emotion, his hands moving mechanically over the controls as he began the scans he'd abandoned when the battle broke out on the bridge.

 

* * *

  
  
 _On Voyager_  
  
"Captain's Log, Stardate 51682.2. I've forged a coalition with the Nihydron and the Mawasi. Together, we're preparing to attack the weapon-ship."   
  
Kathryn leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes, stroking her chin in thought. In a few hours, they would reach the coordinates Tom had sent them and the attack on the Krenim weapon ship would begin. Mentally reviewing the plan, she nodded to herself. A lot depended on Tom being able to disable the ship's temporal core, but Kathryn knew, if anyone could do it, it was Tom. Standing up, she walked out of her ready room. She had called a meeting of her staff and it was time to set the plan in motion.   
  
They were all assembled on the bridge, waiting for her. Kathryn let her eyes run over them for a moment, a small, tight smile touching her lips as she reviewed each person. Tuvok, with his stoic expression, square shouldered and resolute.   
  
B'Elanna, pacing and agitated, battling, Kathryn knew, with the side of her nature that, whether she liked it or not, boiled with the fury of battle fever. Sometimes Kathryn wondered why B'Elanna just didn't give into that nature, especially at moments like this. She let her eyes slide from The half Klingon to the the other female staffer who was the complete opposite of B'Elanna.   
  
Seven of Nine stood by Tuvok's side, her small hands clasped behind her back, her expression remote, aloof. Some would say detached, but Kathryn had learned over time that the Borg woman was anything but detached, since she had begun to learn individuality again, they had all been surprised to discover that within the cool exterior, beat a passionate and dedicated heart. Seven thought of the Voyager crew as her collective, and Kathryn knew without a doubt the woman would lay her life down willingly for any one of them.   
  
Neelix, faithful, eccentric Neelix stood to one side, watching the others with his alert, yellow eyes. Kathryn had come to appreciate his quick witted mind. Even though at times, she found herself exasperated with him, she had to admit, they would never have come so far without him. She sighed and glanced at the Holographic Doctor who had ranged himself alongside the little Talaxian.   
  
The Doctor's face was unreadable, deadpan. He stood with his hands behind his back and if anyone in the room earned his attention at all, it was Seven. Kathryn gave a small shake of her head, marveling again over the capacity of the program to develop and learn as this one was. She swept her gaze from him to Ensign Harry Kim.   
  
Harry paced, echoing B'Elanna's movements unconsciously with his own. His expression was thoughtful. Dark, intelligent eyes clouded with worry. Kathryn knew the young man was anxious to get moving and get Tom back from the Krenim. She'd watched him since the day her two officers had been beamed off the bridge. Harry had served as well as he ever did, performing his duties with stolid persistence, facing insurmountable odds and overcoming them with a temerity and grit that still amazed her, and yet, something in him had seemed flat and lifeless, he'd been every bit the professional star fleet officer on duty, but in his off duty hours would lock himself away, alone and brooding until B'Elanna or one of the others would drag him out to join them.   
  
Then, when the message had come from Tom, it was as though it brought breath back to the young Ensigns lungs, he attacked his duties with even greater vigor and turned himself to assisting B'Elanna in engineering with a drive and determination that astounded even the half Klingon virago who ruled the engines with an iron will and a fist to match it. B'Elanna, strangely, had allowed him to do so, perhaps sensing this was his way of dealing with his own personal battles, by battling engineering complexities. They'd worked side by side unfaltering, silent, and the ships readiness under the most gruelling conditions was a testament to them both.   
  
Kathryn sighed and pulled herself up to her full height. "Thank you all for coming here, I know we're all tired and overworked, but hopefully in a few hours, this will all be over, Tom and Chakotay will be back with us, and we can continue on our journey home." She managed a smile that radiated more hope than she personally felt and looked them all over again, dear friends, every one, and perhaps, this would be the last time she addressed them as their captain. Not trusting herself to say anything more personal, she drew a breath and went on.   
  
"Our new allies are assembling reinforcements. Once we're in range, Tom says he'll try to take the weapon-ship's temporal core off-line. When that happens they'll be vulnerable to conventional weapons. Tom will then transmit the exact location of the core. Our job will be to disable the ship and get our people out. Is everyone clear?"   
  
Her words were greeted with sounds of assent and she nodded. "B'Elanna and Harry, you will accompany the lead Nihydron ship, you're responsible for setting up the temporal shields and seeing that they know how to use them. Tuvok, Neelix, Seven and Doctor, you will go aboard the Mawasi flagship and help them with shields and anything else they require."   
  
"What about yourself?" The Doctor looked into her eyes with a small frown.   
  
"I'll be piloting Voyager, coordinating the attack," Kathryn replied.   
  
"Captain!" B'Elanna stepped forward to face her commanding officer. "This ship has barely enough to even get there, much less wage a war!"   
  
"Oh, there's fight in Voyager yet. It's still got temporal shields, six photon torpedoes. It'll hold together. Besides, you know the adage--Captain goes down with the ship, right?" Kathryn glanced around, meeting each officer's eyes with a light of challenge in her gaze. "You have your orders. dismissed."   
  
Harry paused, giving his captain a long, searching look. He frowned. Since coming aboard Voyager he had followed her every command without question, but there were times, especially lately when he wondered if the woman he had followed into hell, and was following out again was in full possession of her wits. His soulful dark eyes scanned the ruined bridge before returning to her face, speaking a volume without saying a word, before he reluctantly turned and followed B'Elanna off the bridge.  
  
Finally, Kathryn was left alone on the bridge with just Seven and Tuvok.   
  
"Tuvok, I can hear your objections already. I am not leaving."   
  
"Given Voyager's damaged state the probability of your surviving an armed conflict is marginal."   
  
Janeway smiled tiredly. "Oh, I know the odds. But I have to stay. Voyager's done too much for us."   
  
"Curious," Tuvok replied. "I have never understood the human compulsion to emotionally bond with inanimate objects. This vessel has done nothing. It is an assemblage of bulkheads, conduits, tritanium...nothing more."   
  
"Oh, you're wrong. It's much more than that. This ship has been our home. It's kept us together. It's been part of our family. As illogical as this might sound...I feel as close to Voyager as I do to any other member of my crew. It's carried us, Tuvok...even nurtured us. And right now it needs one of us."   
  
"I respect your decision," Tuvok said, lifting his hand in the traditional Vulcan salute. "Live long, and prosper, Captain."   
  
"Same to you...old friend." Kathryn reached for him, drawing him into her arms and closed her eyes as he hesitantly returned her embrace. She drew him closer against her, crushing him for that brief moment, knowing she may never see his imperturbable face again. After a moment she released him, stepping back and gesturing to Seven.   
  
The Borg stepped forward and offered Tuvok her elbow, escorting him from the bridge.   
  
Alone with her ship, the captain moved slowly to the command chair, sweeping aside some rubble with one hand before settling herself. She fixed her eyes on the view screen and released a sigh. She knew they would probably not return alive from this mission, too much was riding on Tom's shoulders.   
  
There had been no word from him since the initial transmission and she could only hope that nothing had gone wrong to alter the plan. For a moment, her fingers brushed across the silver watch Chakotay had given her for her birthday, what seemed like a century ago. Smiling softly she steeled herself, determination lighting her eyes as she waited for the other ships in her small armada to signal their readiness   
  



	22. Chapter 22

Obrist tapped a control, confirming the readings he had just taken then put the results on the star map behind him. Glancing at Annorax he reported in a flat, emotionless voice. "I have six ships on sensors, Two Nihydron, Three Mawasi, ...and Voyager." 

"We're outside space time," Annorax replied cooly. "Impervious to conventional weapons. Let them come." 

Chakotay stepped forward, ignoring the armed guards flanking him and shook his head. "I know Captain Janeway," he countered, "She wouldn't be attacking unless she knew she could do some damage." Assured that he had Annorax's full attention, Chakotay nodded to Obrist and watched as the Krenim Officer began to put their backup plan into effect. 

Obrist focused his console, carefully schooling his features into a neutral expression as his hands moved over the controls. He sent a message to Tom that all was well, and to continue with his part of the plan, then, began the sequence he knew would open the weapon ship to attack from the approaching armada. 

In his cabin, Tom tapped furiously at a small PADD, making calculations, preparing his message for Voyager, he glanced at the communications panel, waiting for the light to flash on, indicating that Obrist had cleared a channel for him. 

After a moment a computerized beep and the flash of the light alerted him and Tom released a sigh. "Good work Obrist," he whispered, bending over the console with renewed determination. 

 _Now to deal with this core..._ His fingers flew over controls Obrist had taught him to use, not a flicker of doubt in his mind as he set the sequence in action. Soon, the core would be disabled and Captain Janeway would have her chance. He licked his lips, concentration making his expression intense. 

On the bridge, Chakotay pressed his advantage, noting the flicker of doubt in Annorax's eyes. He moved closer to the Commanding Officer. "If Captain Janeway has given these ships temporal shields, they will have informed their home worlds. They will be able to protect themselves against your weapon." 

"Bring the weapon to full power," Annorax flicked a glance at Obrist, daring him to defy the command. Returning his gaze to Chakotay, the Krenim continued. "Standby for multiple incursions. We'll have to disable their temporal shields first, make the necessary calculations." Steepling his fingers across his chest, the commander leaned back in his chair, watching Chakotay with a mocking expression as Obrist quickly tapped in the calculations on his console. 

"You see, Commander, we have not been doing this for two hundred years to no purpose. Ships have armed themselves with temporal shields against us before. We are well used to dealing with such things." 

* * *

  
The small armada, Voyager at the head, cruised through the endless reaches of space. The flagship, battered and limping, seemed to carry herself with an air of intrepid determination, an iron will and intent, matched by that of the slight woman who sat alone on the ravaged bridge, her blue eyes fixed straight ahead on a bright spot on her ship's view screen which, unerring instinct told her, was the Krenim weapon ship. 

Kathyrn stared unblinking at that speck, watching as it grew larger, as the distance between them gradually decreased, until the ship which held captive her first officer and the best pilot this quadrant would ever see, loomed large and ominous, blocking out all other scenery. She sat forward, staring and her hand briefly brushed across the silver fob watch hung on a loop of her belt. "Hang on," she murmured. "Hang on...we're coming." 

Tuvok's voice suddenly cut the air of the silent bridge, breaking the captain's reverie as he reported from the lead Mawasi vessel that all ships in their tiny armada reported ready. 

"Let's see if Tom has done his part," she said softly, then, her voice assuming it's normal confident, commanding tone, "Janeway to the fleet, attack pattern Omega. Engage!" She reached for a control and sent Voyager forward into impulse drive, a slow motion charge at best, but still a charge. 

As she watched, two Nihydron vessels streaked by her ship, appearing for an instant on the view screen. Brilliant blue flashes of weapons fire lit the blackness of space the phasers making contact, but causing no damage. 

Janeway swore, silently willing Tom to hurry up. 

 

* * *

"The Nihydron vessels have opened fire, sir." Obrist reported. At the same instant the impact of weapons fire was felt, rocking the ship though it caused no damage. 

Annorax laughed. "Fools." he said softly. "Return fire, Obrist." 

"Aye, sir." Obrist cast Chakotay a helpless glance as he charged the temporal weapon and hit the fire button. _Tom Paris, please do not fail us now..._

Swirling purple arcs of temporal distortion burst from the front of the weapon ship, tracking down the two puny Nihydron vessels as an owl swoops on an unwary field mouse. 

Impact. 

The two ships vanished, swept away in a blast of temporal mayhem. 

* * *

  
"Captain," Tuvok's passive voice came over the com link to Voyager's bridge and the determined woman at her controls. "Two of the Nihydron vessels have been destroyed." 

"Dammit!" Kathryn muttered under her breath. Shaking her head, she made the only decision she could make. "Janeway to the fleet. Evasive Pattern Delta! We're going to have to wait..." Leaning forward in her seat, she stared at the view screen. "Come on, Tom. Come on."

 

* * *

  
"Target the remaining ships" Annorax ordered coldly, 

Obrist looked at Annorax and shook his head slightly, turning his eyes to Chakotay, he allowed his hands to drop away from the weapons controls. 

"I said, target the other vessels of that fleet, Obrist." Annorax' voice was low, dangerous, the threat apparent. 

Ignoring him, Obrist stared into the dark eyes of the human Commander, meeting steady determination as he wavered between obedience to his commander and his newfound loyalty to the Human commander. He drew a deep breath, his hands moving over the controls again as his eyes flashed for a moment, to Annorax, watching the man gloat as he assumed Obrist's compliance.

Obrist's eyes burned as he stared at the console, one control was tapped, then the next. With systematic precision, he followed the sequence he had given to Tom Paris, the sequence that required his or Annorax' clearance to access. The sequence that would spell certain death for himself and his crew. He raised his eyes to Chakotay's face once more and the tears he had denied himself till now flooded to his eyes. With a small nod of farewell, Obrist reached for the last control and pressed it firmly. 

The ship's response was immediate. Somewhere, a Klaxon began to shrill a warning, and lights on the bridge flickered as the ship juddered. Obrist lowered his eyes to the console and activated the transporter. 

"Annorax leaped to his feet, glaring at Obrist in disbelief. "You're deactivating the temporal core!" he shouted, lunging at his first officer. 

"I'm sorry sir." Obrist choked, "It's over." He activated the transporter an instant before Annorax knocked him aside. 

In a shimmer of white mist, Chakotay vanished from the bridge, and Obrist knew, Tom Paris was gone with him. 

"Get back to your stations!"Annorax roared, shoving Obrist against a bulkhead. "You will not disobey me!" Frantically, he began to tap at the controls to restore the temporal core's protection to his ship, but even as he did so, he realized how thorough Obrist's deactivation had been, even working as fast as he was, it would take precious minutes to restore the temporal protection. Minutes he knew Janeway would not allow him. "We're phasing back into normal space time! Reconfigure to conventional weapons!" 

Around them, the ship shook and groaned, the stresses of normal time taking their own toll on her suddenly aged hull. On the bridge, small items began to topple under the vibration caused by the return to time. In Annorax' chambers a cup crashed to the deck shattering into a million pieces and a small pyramid containing a single lock of red hair shivered on it's stand. 

* * *

  
"Captain, Commander Chakotay and Lieutenant Paris have been transported to this vessel." Tuvok's voice came to Kathryn over the coms. 

"Acknowledged." Kathryn replied. She smiled slightly and hit a button on the arm of her chair. "Everything is going according to plan. Tom sent me the coordinates for the temporal core before he left, I'm transmitting them to you now." 

 

* * *

  
"Conventional weapons are on line and ready to fire sir," A young Krenim, loyal to the last spoke and looked towards his commander. 

"Fire at will!" Annorax worked feverishly, slowly, steadily, restoring the temporal core to full operation. 

Savage bursts of fire erupted from the front of the weapons ship slamming against the hull of a Mawasi vessel. With a howl of stressed metal, a Nacelle sheered away under the blast, the Mawasi ship slewed off course, sliding in a macabre slow motion arc towards the battered hull of the intrepid ship, fire and plasma erupted all along Voyager's flank as the ships collided. 

Screaming metal and gouts of flame, the ships locked together, held for a moment, suspended in space as the Mawasi vessel went into death throes, finally releasing Voyager as she tumbled, out of control, and with a shattering blast that knocked Voyager sideways, the ship erupted in a ball of flame and debris, the shock wave catapulting Kathryn Janeway to the floor. 

* * *

  
"One Mawasi vessel destroyed, sir, the weapons are charged and ready." 

"Target Voyager!" Annorax snarled. "Put Janeway out of her misery." 

 

* * *

  
"Captain, none of the ships in the fleet have weapons, Does Voyager?" Tuvok's voice came over a static filled coms system. 

Kathryn dragged herself back to her seat, shaking her head in response to Tuvok. "Negative!" She climbed into the chair and pulled herself upright, staring at the gaping hole in the front of her ship, a flimsy force field, flickering with power distoritons, the only thing between herself and open space. With grim determination, she reached for a control and took her shields off line. 

"I'm disabling the temporal shields. Have the rest of the fleet do the same." With a determined glare, she looked through the whole in her beloved ship's hull and growled. "I'm setting a collision course." 

"Captain, we wont be protected," Tuvok's voice, calm and implacable replied. 

"Exactly. If that ship's destroyed, all of history might be restored. And this is one year I'd like to forget!" Tapping controls on the barely responsive panel, Janeway set course for the coordinates Tom had sent and braced herself in her seat."RAMMING SPEED!" 

Staring at her enemy's vessel as it loomed ever larger through the hole in her forward hull, Kathryn steeled herself for inevitable death. It was, perhaps, not the end she had anticipated to this voyage when she'd boarded the ship to set out on a capture mission, but, looking back on what they had come through, she couldn't honestly say she regretted a moment of it. Her crew had served her well, most of them would either get back home, or start a new life somewhere in the Delta Quadrant. She had done the best she could do for them. 

Reviewing the few who now followed her in this last desperate bid for freedom from Annorax and his scourge upon the Delta Quadrant, Janeway nodded to herself. There could be no better group of people to be with at the moment of her death. She drew a deep breath, gripped the silver watch at her waist and closed her eyes for an instant, then opened them; defiant to the last, staring into the eyes of death. 

"Time's Up!" she muttered fiercely as the nose of her ship seemed to glide, almost gently into the hull of the Krenim vessel. 

* * *

 

"Tom!" Chakotay reached for his lover as they watched Voyager's bow ram into the side of the Krenim vessel, crumbling and imploding as she continued her forward course, ripping through the flank of the enemy in an eruption of debris and flame. The primary hull...Kathryn's post swallowed up incredibly swiftly as her staff watched on from the bridges of two separate ships. Chakotay pulled Tom against him, clinging to the pilot with a strength born of desperation. clamping his jaws against the howl of grief he wanted to unleash. _Kathryn! oh, Spirits! Kathryn!_

  
"No!" Tom said, softly "Oh, gods, no!" 

Aboard the Krenim ship, Obrist was hurled to the floor as the impact of Voyager's bow sent everyone on the bridge reeling. 

Nearby, Torin hit the deck with a grunt of pain. Obrist looked up, meeting the young officer's eyes as realization dawned. The weapon ship was fatally hit. Their mutiny had achieved it's end, the long battle was over. 

An ominous rumbling began somewhere deep in the heart of the vessel and Annorax, the only crew member still standing whirled to glare at Obrist, his eyes filled with hatred. 

"The core is destabilizing!" Annorax yelled above the sound of the collapsing core. "It's going to cause a temporal incursion within the ship!" 

Obrist stared into Annorax' eyes for a moment then looked away, seeking Torin. As another long shudder tore through the ship, he smiled at the younger man reaching one hand towards him. 

Annorax cursed and turned away, running towards his chambers. "The horror! the horror!" he screamed, bursting through the doors in time to watch the fragile pyramid holding the one precious relic he still retained of his beloved Maga, crash to the floor. The pyramid shivered into slivers, exposing the fragile hair to real time and space. As he stared in dismay, the hair flickered, shimmered and was gone. 

"Nooooo!" The last despairing scream of a man possessed rang across the bridge of his vessel to the accompaniment of a shrieking roar from the ship as the core erupted in a purple, violet flash of mayhem. 

 

* * *

  
"Obrist!" On the bridge of the Mawasi vessel, Tom Paris screamed the name of a man he loved, one who had become friend, lover, and comrade in mutiny in the few brief months that He'd known him. 

Tom buried his face against Chakotay's chest, sobbing brokenly as he realized the Krenim Major, his beloved enemy, was gone. 

"Tom..." Chakotay murmured, pulling Tom Paris closer against him. "It's okay, Tom...I've got you...." 

An instant later, the roiling purple and violet mass of temporal destruction swept across the Mawasi and Nihydran ships. obliterating them and everyone aboard as it blossomed out, awesome, destructive, beautiful in it's progress across the sector, sweeping everything in it's path into silent oblivion. 

* * *

  
**Day One**

 

 

Captain's log, Stardate 51252.3. The past couple of weeks have been uneventful but we've made excellent progress on the new Astrometrics lab. 

On the Bridge of her ship, Kathryn Janeway surveyed her own private domain, looking over her bridge staff with an air of almost maternal pride. Turning to Seven of Nine she smiled and asked, "When can you bring it on line?" 

"We just did," Seven responded, tapping controls placidly. 

Harry, smiled and added. "In fact, we're in the process of charting a new course home." 

"I'd say this is cause for celebration," Janeway said softly. 

"Captain," Tuvok glanced up from his console. "A vessel is approaching off the port bow." 

"On screen." Kathryn turned to look at the screen as a large warship appeared. For a moment, her eyebrows went down and she frowned thoughtfully. 

"They're hailing us, Captain." Harry said from his place at Seven's side. 

"Open a channel," Janeway said. 

A humanoid alien appeared on the screen, his temples crisscrossed with dark pigmented lines, and two small, horny bumps. Kathryn glanced at Tom and noticed his sudden rigid posture. Frowning, she returned her gaze to the man on the screen. 

"You've entered Krenim space," he said politely. "State your identity." 

"Captain Janeway of the Starship Voyager. We're just passing through, trying to get home." 

"This region is in dispute," the Krenim replied. "I suggest you avoid our territory." 

"Thanks for the warning," Janeway said. 

The Krenim nodded. "Good journey." 

"Tom, plot a course around Krenim space," Chakotay murmured, watching Tom visibly relax as the too familiar face vanished from the screen. 

"Aye, sir." Tom replied his voice equally soft and subdued as he entered the course adjustment on his console. For a moment, he glanced at the view screen, now only displaying streaming stars. _Obrist...are you out there...somewhere? Is it possible that somehow, you survived...do you remember?_

Chakotay glanced around at the other bridge crew. None of them, aside from Tom gave any indication of recognition. Could it be possible that only he and Tom remembered Annorax, Obrist, Torin and the others? 

Turning to Kathryn he smiled, wondering if he should ask her. Glancing towards Tom for a moment he then returned his attention to the captain and spoke. "So what do you think-- how about a ground-breaking ceremony for our new lab?" Perhaps, after all, their year of hell was a subject best left forgotten. 

Tom would grow away from the memories of the Krenim in time. Both of them needed time to heal and to forget. Now, thanks to the sacrifice of a single man who refused to bow to the tyranny of his commander any longer, Tom and Chakotay had that time. They had all the time in the world and he vowed never to waste a moment of it.  _When time gives you an opportunity, you shouldn't waste it._ Annorax's words spoken after the final incurions which ulimately sparked mutiny. Chakotay acknowledged the truth of that statement. 

 

He smiled into Kathryn's eyes as she leaned conspiratorially towards him. 

"I think I'll replicate a bottle of Saint Emillion for the occasion." Kathryn whispered. "A 2370--I hear that was a good year." 

 

 

The End


End file.
